


Finding Home (across the universe)

by Iyashpia



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentReign, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Mutual Pining, Reign needs a hug, Slow Burn, SuperCorp, mention of multiverse, sam and reign having merged
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26105092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iyashpia/pseuds/Iyashpia
Summary: Alex gets stuck in an exploding multiverse portal and wakes in a world where she's supposed to be the girlfriend of the woman she thought she'd lost forever but who also merged with a worldkiller. Not being able to repair the portal to go back, they all try to adjust to their new lifes. Finding new trust, hope, love and home along the way.OrThe one in which Alex gets switched with another worlds counterpart, trying to get to live the life she'd always dreamed of. And even though Sam isn't into the idea of opening her heart to another Alex, Reign is a lovesick puppy trying her best to get her family back together. Kind of.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/ Reign, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers/Reign
Comments: 56
Kudos: 137





	1. Seeking Change

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,  
> This is my first fanfiction in a very long time, so please bear with me while I figure out writing again.
> 
> I had this Idea a while ago and while I already have planned out quite a bit, I'm winging most of it, seeing where it takes me.
> 
> Edit: I'm now on twitter where I tweet about writing process and random things @MaskedQuill

It’s been a quiet few weeks at the DEO. No big threats, nobody and nothing wanting to destroy the world. Fall was slowly merging into winter and it seemed that even the bad guys didn’t want to go out in the cold. It’s been quiet to the point that Alex slowly got restless. 

„You know, the last time we saw Barry and the others was at his wedding“, Kara mumbled between two potstickers during sister night „it would be nice to visit them again. Kittens can get saved and fires can get put out by firefighters for a few days. I‘m bored, Alex! Let’s have some fun meeting old friends”, the blonde spoke, almost jumping with energy, the sofa quietly screeching under her movements.

Kara was right, it’s been almost two years since they’ve travelled the multiverse to attend the other superheroes wedding. Almost over two years since she broke up with Maggie and drowned her sorrow in the arms of a blonde time traveling assassin. She could’ve even imagined calling her a friend if it wasn’t for the multiverse. Or the time traveling.

Swallowing the last bite of her pizza, she looked over to her sister. „I would have to fix the portal first, you know“, pinching the bridge of her nose she let out an extended breath „It got taken apart because we needed some parts of it and there never was the time, or the need to fix it.“

She wasn’t happy that it got taken apart in the first place, but she was too busy to prevent it. Or to repair it. „Let me sleep about it, will you? I need to come up with a plan, If I decide to-oomph“

Before she could finish her sentence, she found herself in a bone-crushing Kryptionian hug „Kara! I need to breathe“, tapping at her sisters back, shaking her head with a chuckle when looking into the brightest smile she has seen in a while, paired with big puppy eyes.

„I‘ll sleep about it“, she repeated firmly, going through Netflix to pick out a movie. „It would be good for you, you know?“, Kara spoke quietly „You haven’t taken a day off in a long time. I see the way you throw yourself into work so you can keep your thoughts out of your head. I also see you pacing around the DEO for at least a week now, shouting at everyone who looks at you wrongly. Something is up, and I know you won’t talk to me, because I offered that for months now, but maybe getting away from ...well.. Here might help you“, Kara tried reassuringly, having put a hand on Alex's shoulder while talking. Oh why does her sister have to turn around a favor for her into something she‘s doing for Alex all the time. 

„You know I would’ve probably done it without all the „it’s good for you too, Alex, because I worry, Alex“ part, right?“, she mumbled, interpreting Karas voice while speaking. „but I honestly need to think about it. I don’t want to get your hopes up just yet..“, because as good as it sounded, it wouldn’t be easy to fix the portal, most of the damage done not being visible at first glance and as restless as she felt, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go to the place that helped her ease a heartbreak two years ago. Because she wasn’t ready to ease her heartbreak just yet. Or was she?

Without another word she stood, grabbing the ice cream out of the freezer, to sit down again, starting Ghostbusters and slowly curling herself up next to her sister, falling asleep to her Kryptonian warmth halfway through the movie.

***

She woke to the feeling of cold wind brushing through her hair. „Shh you’re almost home“, she noticed Kara saying. „Why wouldn’t you let me sleep on your sofa?“, mumbling grumpily, nuzzling herself closer to the warm body carrying her. 

„I just thought if you sleep in your own bed you might come to a better conclusion to what you’re thinking about“, Kara stated as if it was the most obvious fact in the world.

Touching down on the balcony, Kara slowly put now quite awake Alex to her feet. It was freezing and Kara hadn’t thought about dressing her in a jacket before they took off. „I know you’re going to think about it Alex, but pretty please, think really hard, will you?“, Kara begged, pouting at her. „Good Night, Kara“, was all she said before entering her living room, closing the balcony door immediately. 

Wide awake she turned on the lights, looking around at what she could do now, at almost 1am. Darting her eyes over the room she got stuck at a few letters at the kitchen counter. Sorting bills would probably make her tired enough to fall asleep within minutes. 

Grabbing the stack of bills, she moved over to her sofa, slipping over something that fell out of the pile in her hands. Finding her balance fast enough, her eyes landed on a postcard on the ground. „Metropolis“ written in big bright letters over a drawing of the city’s skyline.

Feeling a lump in her throat, she picked it up, sat on the sofa and started to read the text that was squished on the tiny space of the postcard. The other letters scattered forgotten on the table.

„ _ Dear Alex, _

_ We‘re doing well, it’s nice to be home again but I miss you. I think mum also misses you, but she won’t talk about it. I‘m captain of the soccer team again, everyone was happy to have me back! We‘re having this huge game soon, because we’ve managed to get to be in the season finale! I was hoping you would come.  _

_ Mum told me I shouldn’t ask but I haven’t seen you in so long. Aunt Lena will come to watch so you could travel with her. _

_ Hoping to see you soon, _

_ Ruby“ _

Feeling tears run down her face, she stood again and pinned the card to her fridge, probably regretting it at a later time, but now, in this moment she was just so happy to know that the Arias were fine. There was radio silence since the day they moved back to Metropolis and she was too afraid to call Sam, not knowing what she would say to her.

But Sam hasn’t called her either..

What happened next happened in a blurry of actions. She grabbed the Scotch out of her cupboard, drowning the first glass in one big gulp and placing the refill on her kitchen island. Going through her workroom closet she pulled out a pile of paper that was stuck all the way down at the bottom. Old notes about the multiverse portal. Kara was right, if she wanted to move on she needed to get away for a few days. She needed to be over Sam before she would be able to see her again. But she wouldn’t let down Ruby. She never would.

By 1:30am she laid out all the plans she previously made. By 3am she had listed off everything she needed to fix the portal. By 5am she had ordered it all to arrive at her lab in the morning. By 6am she was asleep on her notes and by 9am, she woke up with a sore back and a huge blue line across her cheek from sleeping on her pen. By 10am she had showered and was downing her second cup of coffee already sitting in her lab. By 12 she noticed sounds coming from the hallway.

„So, I figure you thought about it?“, Kara giggled, leaning in the doorframe.Smile wide, her hair flying around her head while she bounced on the tip of her toes „Gosh, Alex. How long have you been awake last night, you look like a panda. And while pandas are adorable, I do remember that look not being healthy for you“

Shrugging, she looked from her notes to the door „I think I slept from maybe 6 to 9, but I slept at your place before so that’s fine.”, waving one hand dismissively in Kara’s direction “I‘m actually quite far in already, the visible damage wasn’t as big as I had expected it to be, but the wiring is a little tricky“, strolling over to the frame that would hold the portal in later, she opened up a compartment at the side, looking at a few loose wires. „I just need to get those working so I can see how much else there is to do, that I couldn’t make out without it being turned on before.“

Fumbling with the wires, she heard a low sizzling sound. Thinking it’s the sound of the portal springing to life, she attached one wire to the other without looking up from them. „Alex I don’t think-„, was what she noticed Kara saying while sticking the last wire to its counterpart. „What? It’s fine Kara, see?“ she waved her hand towards the Portal. 

Everything went white around her 

„Alex!!!“

For a second she felt like she was pulled by a force, like a drift underwater. When she opened her eyes for a second she looked into a pair of eyes she was trying to forget, trying to forget so horribly, she fixed a portal for it. Or at least tried to. But looking into those eyes now she was sure that’s it. I‘m dying because I thought I could visit another universe to get over the woman I wanted to spend my life with but who moved away. How foolish.

„Alex!!“, Kara's voice got quieter and stopped at the same time as the sizzle of the portal. A loud beeping sound stuck in her ears as she only heard sobbing beside her when the blackness finally took over her body.

  
  


***

When she opened her eyes for the next time she was greeted by bright white light and the slow beeping of a source next to her. Blinking to adjust to the brightness, she managed to take in her surroundings. She found herself in the Medbay of the DEO. That was a good sign, she wasn’t out somewhere where evil was waiting for her. But why was she in the med bay? 

Turning her head to the side she saw J‘onn sleeping in a chair next to a small TV airing the news. She couldn’t understand what the news anchor was talking about, but the show switched over to a video of a dark figure flying in the sky above National City. Squinting her eyes together, she could read the words „Reign is back!“ displayed under the video.

Gasping she sat up in bed, ripping the needle out of her arm, stumbling to her feet. „Alex you’re awake. What are you doing, get back to bed until someone has checked up on you. That’s an order!“, J‘onn spoke behind her „Now“

„But J‘onn...Reign...she...I can’t just…. I mean… why...how…“, not being able to form a coherent sentence, she laid back down in bed, her head spinning „oww.. what happened..?“

Touching her head she could feel a huge band aid stuck to her forehead, a bandage wrapped around her right wrist.

„You we’re trying to fix a portal that was shut off for a reason all alone, because you were bored, restless and needed a challenge.“ he laid his hand on hers „It exploded and you got hit on the head. You’ve been out for three days. Seriously Alex. Locking yourself up in your lab because you’re bored just because your girlfriend told you, you needed to take a step back after she was heavily injured and worried for your well-being is not only unprofessional, it’s foolish.“

Right. She was trying to fix the portal, because her girlf...wait. „My who?“, her eyes went wide and she stared at J‘onn for a second before she noticed the door swinging open, Kara storming in, flinging herself onto Alex „you’re awake! Never do such a silly thing again! You knew exactly how dangerous it could be! You told me before you started and then you weren’t careful enough!“, she chided. „But I‘m glad you're fine. You are fine, are you?“, taking the redhead‘s head in her hands, Kara stared into her eyes, turning said head left and right.

„Kara, I‘m fine. I think..“. Looking over to the TV again, pointing her hand to the screen, still not understanding what’s going on and why everyone is acting so calm. „What…Reign...why..“, back to not being able to talk properly. Great.

„I‘ll leave the two of you alone for now, I have work to do, glad you’re up again Alex“, and so J‘onn went, a fatherly smile on his face „I‘ll tell her that you’re awake when she gets back“

And with that he was gone, Alex staring after him. Tell whom? Oh right. Her girlfriend probably. But why couldn’t she remember having one?

„So?“, still pointing at the TV her eyes wandered back to the superhero in her arms. 

„Right“, Kara started „There was this huge alien weapon auction at the harbor, you remember? We‘ve been there undercover, being able to catch most of them and lock them up here but some flew. ‘ve been out there looking for the bad guys all day, I just got back because it’s way past dinner time and I couldn’t keep on looking while being that hungry“, she grinned „We‘ve almost got them all though. Having someone new in the team is nice, you’ve been right about it big sis“.

While she enjoyed being snuggled upon by her wonderfully warm little sister upon having right. She absolutely had no clue what she had been right about. Nor did she get any answer regarding Reign. But that could wait. Now it was cozy and warm and she was still so very tired, that she dozed off to sleep, Kara in her arms, feeling safe.

***

She was looking at herself from above. Saw her in her lab, dressed in a dark blue sweater and black jeans, working on the portal. Saw her notes scattered over the table, stains of scotch and tears all over them. Kara was standing in the doorway. And suddenly she wasn’t. 

The portal started to activate and the blue light coming out of it was soaring towards herself like a tiny tornado. „ALEX!!“, was what she Heard- Kara shouting, trying to get to her fast enough to get her out of the light.

It all happened fast. Within seconds she saw herself getting sucked into the portal by a tiny sparkling blue tornado, before it exploded and parts were flying in every direction.

***

She sat up gasping, sweat on her face, heart beating a mile a minute. 

„Shhh you’re okay, you’re in the Medbay“, a quiet voice said to her, carefully stroking her hand. Slowly turning her head towards the voice she took in her breath sharply. Still staring wide eyed at the person next to her. 

There, in a chair next to her bed wasn’t Kara. But there was Sam, clad in a DEO shirt and sweatpants, hair falling around her face damply as if she just had showered.

„Baby are you alright? Kara told me you had been a bit out of it“, Sam stood. But just so that she could sit herself next to Alex on the mattress, slowly stroking her hair. 

By now Alex had closed her mouth,even though still starting up to Sam, still not talking. What the hell was going on here? She hadn’t heard a word from Sam in months, trying to forget her helplessly for the same amount of time. And now she was here, looking like she just had showered, stroking her hair, calling her sweet names and slowly leaning in closer. Wait, she did what?

Before the injured Agent had the chance to comprehend what was happening right now, gosh her head still was a little slow working, she saw Sam leaning in more, closing her eyes and carefully laying her lips on hers.

It was as if electricity went through Alex's body. For a second her eyes went wide again, before she closed them to lean into the kiss fully. Her hands grabbed Sam's arms, clinging to the fabric of her sweater as if her life was depending on it, while Sam kept caressing the back of her head, hands getting tangled in strands of hair.

Maybe she was dreaming, maybe she was dead. But the woman she loved was kissing her senseless, soft, warm lips moving over her own, while her evil twin was seemingly fleeing from an alien weapon auction. How that could be possible and how nobody seemed to care about it.. that was a worry for later.

Tightening her grip on Sam's arms, she slowly pulled her on top of herself, heavy breathing against her lips. She felt herself blushing, heat spreading from her face all over her body. Why was this so exhausting? She was Alex Danvers, Director of the DEO. She was trained for extremes. But a hit against her head and she couldn’t even kiss longer than three minutes.

„Never do that again“ Sam murmured against her lips „you made us worry so much“, another kiss. If she was dreaming she never wanted to wake up again „Reign got reckless without you..“, another kiss „she’s not happy that you didn’t listen to her“, another kiss. Alex has no idea what the brunette talked about. Why would Reign of all people be worried and unhappy about herself trying to fix the portal. Or getting injured?

When Sam started to nibble at her lower lip Alex pulled away. She’s got too many questions to wait for a later time now. 

„Why was Reign worried? Why is nobody worrying about her when she‘s….she‘s out there!“, her voice coming out weaker than intended, but still with a slight hint of panic in it.

Sam looked at her puzzled for a moment „Are you really doing well Alex?“, putting a hand on the redhead's forehead she rose a brow quizzically „Of course she‘s worried, dummy. She told you to take a few days off because you weren’t needed on the field and you went and set your goal to fix that stupid portal.“ furrowing her brows further at Alex's startled look she sighed, sitting up straight, closing her eyes, breathing long and steady breaths.

„What are you doing?“, furrowing her brows just a little, watching Sam closely, Alex started to wonder.

_ „What she is doing? Alexandra what has happened to that foolish brain of yours?“,  _ Sam spoke. No. Not Sam. Her voice was just a tiny bit deeper, echoing slightly as she spoke. Her posture was stiffer now and her facial features cold, as if formed out of clay. But her eyes, that seemed just a bit darker than before still held the same worry in them. Reign.

Panicking the redhead tried to get away from her. Which was, due to the fact that she was straddling her, very difficult. So she decided to do the only thing that could help her „KARA!!! J‘ONN!! Help!“, shouting at the top of her lungs, pushing herself as far away from Reign as she could.

_ „Alexandra what are you doing? Why are you calling for the others in the middle of the night?“ _ , Reign asked, honestly seeming to wonder what was happening. Though not moving an inch from the place on Alex's legs, looking down at her.

Seconds later Kara and J‘onn came busting through the door, the first one clad in a pair of golden retriever printed PJ pants and an MIT hoodie that definitely did not belong to her. The latter looked as if he‘d never left work in the first place.

„What’s going on? Alex? Sam? Oh, no? Reign?“, J‘onn was the first one to speak „Honestly Sis, you have one super powered Kryptonian sitting on top of you, whatever you want to tell us it could’ve waited until after sunrise“, Kara spoke yawning.

„Reign she‘s...she‘s here! Why is she here?! Why is nobody doing anything? She‘s dangerous!“, voice fast, nowhere near as quiet as it was before, but shaking in fear, Alex started to flail with her arms to try to state her point. She usually wasn’t one to panic that easily. But a worldkiller was sitting on top of her legs, looking down at her as if her world was breaking apart in just this second.

„Of course she‘s here Alex, what are you saying?“, Kara looked at her with a similar look on her face as Sam had minutes ago.

„ _ Could you please tell me what happened to that girlfriend of mine?...yes...yes Sam“ _ Reign letting out an annoyed huff „ _...that girlfriend of ours?“ _

And with that Alex gave in to the confusion, the feeling of the headaches and her already spinning head and felt her world going dark again.

***

She woke to a needle being pinched in her arm. „Whoa, slow there Agent Danvers, I‘m just taking your blood and later we’re getting you into the MRI to make sure we haven’t overlooked any serious injuries a few days ago“, the DEO doctor spoke.

Nodding she looked away from him and the needle, noticing a note on her bedside table.

_ Dear Alex, _

_ I am sorry that I have startled you. We are under the impression that you are suffering from amnesia. I hope you will remember me soon. I am worried. _

_ Love, Reign _

_ Ps: Call me I when you’re awake,  _

_ Sam _

_ PPS: I Hope you still remember me, _

_ Ruby _

„Hey, blood thief. Could you get me my phone?“, she addressed the doc who was about to leave the room, not ever having seen her face around. 

„Of course, Agent Danvers“, she spoke, politely smiling at her while handing over the phone from the cupboard on the other side of the room. 

„Thank you“, Alex answered firmly, already turning on the device in her hands, wondereing about the way she had been adressed.

A smile spread across her lips as she saw her background picture. It showed herself, Sam and Ruby, faces full of paint, grinning into the camera. Silent tears ran down her face as she unlocked it, instinctively opening the app which contained all her pictures to be greeted with at several hundred different pictures of a life she couldn’t remember ever leading.

Pictures of her and Sam kissing, pictures of Ruby playing soccer, pictures of Sam... Reign posing in her new suit, pictures of Reign and Kara doing the superhero pose (Reign looking fairly annoyed, but Kara containing happiness for the both of them), pictures of all of them having fun at game night, pictures of J‘onn helping Ruby with a science project, sitting on the floor of the DEO and only a few days old, a picture of her, kissing blushing Reign on the cheek while hovering over the DEOs balcony, Reign actually smiling.

Opening her messenger she hovered over Ruby’s name until deciding she could write her moments later.  _ I could never forget you, kiddo _ , she typed out, sending it immediately. It wasn’t fair that she made all of them worry. Especially not Ruby. She was way too young to go through all of what’s happened to her. She shouldn’t worry about an apparently foolish special Agent.

She slowly closed the messenger and dialed Sam‘s number.

„Arias“, she heard her greeting.

„Hey..Sam..it’s...it‘s Alex..“, she nervously mumbled into her phone. Something was definitely wrong here, looking at the calling history and the pictures on her phone, but for her it was the first time calling Sam in almost six months.

„Alex! You’re awake, finally. I‘m almost on lunch break, then I‘m coming over. Lena can handle the last meetings of the day alone so I can stay with you.“, her voice not leaving any space for a no. „I‘ll see you soon then, love you“. And with that she hung up. Alex heart racing again, her cheeks turning crimson.

Why couldn’t she remember leading a life that seemed to make no sense but appeared to be so perfect, but she could remember living a different one.

She remembered Reign being killed. She remembered the Arias moving away. She remembered buying the first very expensive bottle of scotch since Maggie and she remembered it not being the last. She remembered fighting an alien drug ring that took almost four months and she remembered two quiet and boring weeks at the DEO, where even the paperwork was done and Kara deciding that they should take on a vacation across the multiverse.

The multiverse. The portal. The explosion. It must have pulled her in to throw her out on a different earth! But why was this earth thinking that she would be their Alex. There didn’t seem to be two of her.

Stuck in her thoughts she let herself be put into the MRI, overhearing that Sam would be there once she got out.

Sam. The woman she fell way too hard and way too fast in love with, who moved away saying „I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I need to be away from all of this here and that includes you, Alex“, the woman who kissed her last night and told her she loved her not even an hour ago. The woman she could pretend to be in a relationship with, having forgotten god knows how much time and apparently lead a happy life. 

Or the woman for she could try to get her real Alex back.

Swallowing the lump in her throat as she saw Sam waiting for her in her Medbay room, her mind knew what the only right thing to do was. Her heart shattering all over again at the thought of this not being where she belongs.   


Because even through all the confusion, she had never felt that much at home before..


	2. Seeking Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex opens up about her doubs. Plans get made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> I am awestruck by the response this story has gotten already. Thank you so, so much for it!
> 
> This chapter is a bit dialouge heavy, but I felt like they all have a lot to talk about.

Everyone was bundled up in her room. J’onn on the chair, Kara floating cross-legged at about the same height and Sam sitting next to Alex feet on the bed. 

Just when Alex was about to start speaking there was a knock at the door and Lena stepped in, a little out of breath. „I‘m so sorry I‘m late, but I had to take Ruby to a friend and got stuck in traffic on the way back“, she smiled, stroking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. „Glad to see you’re up again, Darling“, she clearly addressed in Alex 's direction. Stopping rightin front of Kara, looking down on her for a very long second as if wanting to say something and instead going past and leaning against the cupboard, she tipped her head to one site slightly „you okay?“

Alex has been looking at Lena with wondering eyes the whole time, apparently she knew about Kara being Supergirl already or else she would be freaking right now, seeing the Kryptonian float mid air in a light blue blouse and jeans, glasses perched on her nose. 

„What are you doing here? I only asked for the important people and I am sorry Lena, you might be important in some way but… why are you here exactly?“, she asked bluntly. Frowning at the hurt look on Lenas face „Uh..you know.. I...I‘m sorry.. I..“, she quickly stumbled out, looking around the room for help.

„Amnesia, I get it“, Lena spoke as first „but forgetting not only one half of your girlfriend but also your best friend is more than just a little concerning“

Sighing Alex looked up „Amnesia...right...so..“, she pulled her sleeves over her hands, fiddling around with them nervously „I do not think that I am suffering from amnesia… and I am also under the impression that I do not belong here“, she spoke slowly, without looking up, hearing a few worried „Alex“‘s here and there. „No, no let me finish“, 

taking in a deep shaky breath she continued to speak „When the portal exploded..I think.. it wasn’t the only portal that exploded.. I think that on another earth, another portal exploded and it sucked me in and then it spit me out here. And I believe that the Alex you are expecting to be sitting here is coming to a similar conclusion soon, if she hasn’t already..on my earth..“

She didn’t know when the tears started to fall, didn’t know what to do when she looked up and saw an array of confused and hurt faces „are...are you sure..? Alex, I mean..you‘ve got a pretty bad concussion“, Kara spoke, doubt thick in her voice. 

As Alex nodded she felt Sam turn stiff beside herself, but before Sam could start to ask questions, the agent decided to explain further

„I noticed that something was off within the first minutes I woke up yesterday. There was just no way Reign could be flying around the city and the last relationship I had didn’t end pretty so there definitely wouldn’t a girlfriend be worrying over me“, she sighed again „for the whole time I was thinking that something must be wrong, but I also couldn’t remember what happened before the explosion and I figured that it had to be my brain not working right, you know?“

She shuffled herself smaller in the bed, taking her knees up to hide herself behind them „ But this morning I looked through the pictures on what’s supposed to be my phone.. and I saw pictures of a whole life I don’t remember leading. Which sounds like amnesia for a second, but I could remember the life I lead instead. On those exact days..“ she spoke through her tears, sobbing in between the words.

„That just can’t be right“, Kara spoke again „Can it?“, slowly shuffling closer to J‘onn to get patted on the shoulder. 

Sam stood, wordlessly moving towards the door. Turning around once out of the room  _ „Find us once you made sure she is right, Martian. I can’t be staying here...Sam can’t..“  _ and with that she left, flying towards the exit. 

Looking around with fear in her eyes Alex spotted Lena pacing around, jaw locked, face cold, brows furrowed. She was clearly thinking and processing.

„J‘onn“, Alex let out shakily „You can...you know…“ J‘onn sat across from her, slightly hunched over, face hidden behind his hands deep in thought. „I already suspected it yesterday. Your thoughts were screaming all over the place. But I just guessed you were confused and that you got hit a little too heavy by a huge chunk of metal“, rubbing his hands over his face he looked up to her „You will stay here at the DEO until you are better. As soon as that happens you can figure out how to fix the portal to get back home and get our Alex back to us. Lena will help you with the portal, no risking your life with foolish decisions again.“, he stood, stretching slightly while moving towards the door „I suspect you have a lot to talk about. I will get to you tomorrow to make sure that you can be fully trusted and then we will see what to do with you for the time you will be staying here“, his smile trying for reassurance but not quite reaching his eyes. „I will also try to talk to Sam, you how she…“, swallowing the last of his sentence, closing the door behind himself , leaving Alex alone with Kara and Lena.

„So..“, Alex spoke quietly „I guess you have questions?“, looking towards her sister and the Luthor unsure. 

„Of course I have questions Alex!“, Kara looked as if she had only waited for that opportunity. Already opening her mouth, a slight spark shining in her eyes, she instantly let it snap shut, pouting, when she saw Lena raise her left hand in a waiting motion. „How are you holding up?“, the dark haired woman spoke, voice quiet but strong „it might be an extremely difficult situation for all us but you lost your whole world, Alex“, slowly moving towards her, pointing to the bed where Sam had sat earlier „can I sit?“

„Uhh..sure“, Alex nodded, looking back and forth between Kara and Lena „this is so weird, you know. Back on my earth you’re best friends, it’s almost impossible to see you apart.“, not noticing the faint blush on both of their cheeks and the slight smile on Karas lips she continued „And Sam… well.. as I mentioned earlier.. there is no Reign in my world..not anymore. And Sam isn’t around much. Or at all, moving back to Metropolis to get away from all this“, waving her arms around, to deepen the meaning of her point „And I.. I don’t know how your Alex is… but I am a miserable being. If I had been a bit more open about my feelings, well..a lot more open about my feelings, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place“, sobs rocking through her body as she came to that conclusion. 

Seconds later she found herself between two pairs of arms, squished between a Super and a Luthor, both sobbing alongside her until all tears had dried out and she fell asleep again. The strange feeling of home lingering above her heart.

***

The day had started uneventfully until Kara brought her a sticky bun and some coffee, telling her the MRI scans came out without a worry and that J‘onn would come by later to go through everything that was left unspoken so she could then go back to the lab and hopefully go back home soon.

It all seemed so normal to her. Kara coming by when she is in the Medbay, J‘onn giving her the go so she could work again.

But this wasn’t normal. This wasn’t the place where she should be. 

For a second she managed to forget it all, the only indication of something that had happened being her red and puffy eyes from crying all night. „You know“, Kara started, hands fiddling with the ends of her cape „When I lost my world you‘ve been the one being there for me… well...not you directly but… you‘re still my sister, Alex. Somehow in a crazy multiverse way. But we‘re family. And we will get you back home somehow. And until then, you‘ll have me..and Lena..and J‘onn.. and the Sam-Reign combo will open up to you eventually as well“, the blonde smiled. Her perfect sunshine smile paired with sad eyes, glimmering sadly with unshed tears.

“El Mayarah”, the blonde whispered. A promise echoing through the room.

“Stronger together”, Alex answered, standing up shakily and wrapping the blonde Kryptonian in a hug, melting against her frame.

***

Not too long after Kara had left a knock could be heard from the door.

“come on in”, Alex voiced, looking up from her phone on which she was playing games on. Thank god other-Alex seemed to be into playing mobile games as much as she was.

When J’onn entered the room she could feel herself getting tense again.

“How are you feeling?”, the Martian asked, sitting himself in the chair next to her bed again.

“A little woozy from the painkillers, a little confused about how I ended up here, a little as if I am this huge disturbing phenomenon that suddenly appeared here….and a little scared”, she spoke honestly.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to sound so depressed”, scratching her neck laughing she was looking into his sad smile again “Okay, let’s get this over with, what do you want to do now?”   


“I am going to have to read your mind to find out if I can really trust you and also to figure out where we are currently standing. I would ask you to not try and hide any thoughts for me, Alex, that would make it a lot easier. Please tell me if you have any questions or when you are ready to start”, his voice now lacking any sadness, having taken on his professional stance.

“No questions, just start”, she stated firmly before getting cozy against her pillow again.

***

Emotions washed over her as time flew by. Feeling J’onn’s presence in her head both calming and unsettling at the same time. Seeing memories flash in front of her eyes for the tiniest moments, from the day Kara arrived at her doorstep to the day she listened to that same Kara scream out her name for the last time a few days ago.

Opening her eyes again she felt her body slightly shaking, cheeks wet from unnoticed tears. “That was...intense”, she breathed out shakily, rubbing her hands over her eyes to dry them.

Observing her carefully J‘onn calmly begabte raise his voice. “Do you need a minute? We can continue later if you like, I do not want to put you under too much pressure”

“No, please keep going J’onn”, nodding firmly in his direction “rest is for the dead”, she grinned.

“Fine. So, I have to say that this is a first for me as well, it was a little baffling to see your memories while knowing exactly that Alex...our Alex...had different ones.”, he spoke, deep in thought “But I can see that you do not have any ill intentions towards us, nor that you actually intended on ending up here.“, a thankful breath escaping his lungs. „Now, I have planned out what is going to happen with you for the time of your stay, which is probably going to take a while, so I really hope that you will accept on this”

Sitting up straight, dangling her legs from the mattress, Alex swallowed a deep breath and waved her hand in a “go on” motion. “I’m all ears”   


“We sat together last night coming to the conclusion that you should try to lead your life as unsuspiciously as possible. Meaning, nobody aside from the people already knowing will be told about your situation. Looking at your memories seeing that you’re about as social as our Alex outside of this close circle it shouldn’t be noticed too much, but you should make sure to be seen with everyone regularly, especially with Sam and Reign, who actually proposed this plan to me”

“So all I have to do is stay in here, repair the portal and let myself be seen with one of the others once in a while? That doesn’t sound too complicated, J’onn”, she laughed, a little unsure about the but that was inevitably coming.

“Alex.. You...your other self isn’t the most outgoing person, but she has a social network and everyone here at the DEO is aware of that. The whole science division was rooting for you...her… and Sam to finally end up together.”, shaking his head smiling in memory he continued “She fought her way up to be the best of our agents, fighting to get Lena Luthor access to the Labs and most importantly, she fought for Reign.”

Staring at the man in front of her wide eyed she couldn’t believe what he was saying. That didn’t sound much like her at all.

“So no”, he spoke further, looking straight into her eyes “You won’t be hurled up in here, letting yourself be seen once in a while. You will be discharged, go home, come to work in the morning and leave at night, spending time with your sister, your best friend and your girlfriends so that when Alex comes back, it will appear as if she was never gone. Are we clear on that?”, his business voice floating through the room, leaving no space for objection.

Swallowing hard she let the thought go through her head and as complicated as it sounded, it didn't appear to be all too bad. She wouldn't be alone for god knows how long it would take to fix that stupid portal. Maybe she would befriend her friends counterparts along the way, if she could get the portal to work, they could host cross-univeral gamenights.   


“Please let me attend to that should it happen”, J’onn laughed next to her “Glad you’re cooperating Alex”   
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes until J’onn’s wide smile caught her eye.   
  
“Director Danvers, huh? I can see that happening here at some day in the future. I’m sorry you’ll be downgraded to Agent Danvers for now, but that should also make your cover up a lot easier as I can take you off the field for a while”   
  
“No J’onn, please. As much as I do not want to cause any trouble, as much I want to help. I will stick to the labs, but if I am needed out there, do not hesitate to get me. That’s my only demand for now.“, she stated, voice professional and firm. 

„Wait no, I also really want something to eat. I only had porridge and a sticky bun in the last five days and I am starving”, her stomach grumbling lowly as she spoke.

And with that the martian stood, handing her a take-out flyer out of his pocket. “Pick what you want and send a message to Lena, she wanted to come over to talk about the portal tonight and told me to give that to you, it’s our Alex’s favorite place”, he nodded, leaving her behind with a take-out flyer. Thoughts still all over the place.

***

Thirty minutes passed until Alex felt confident enough to shoot Lena a message about her dinner plans.    
  
**Agent Alex:** **  
** Hey Lena, J’onn told me to write you once I have decided on what I want to eat today. Could you get me the red thai curry please? Can’t wait to talk about the portal with you.

She typed out nervously. Pressing send before the thought of just having nothing to eat could be fine could cross her mind.    
  
**Lena L:** **  
** Creepy, but sure. See you later

Her heartbeats spiking at the message she quickly typed out a response, hands shaking even more than before. God, why were social interactions suddenly so difficult. Oh right. They were not really her friends ...yet… and she’s never being good with social interactions in the first place.

**Agent Alex:  
** What’s wrong?

  
**Lena L:** **  
** That’s what Alex always takes, guess you share an universal love for spicy food

Alex grinned at the pun appearing on her phone. Maybe blending in wouldn’t be as dissicult as she thought it would be after all.

Lost in her thoughts she felt her phone buzzing in her hands again, shakily opening the message as she read the name glowing on her screen.

**Sam 2.0:  
** Alexandra, please know that I do mean you no harm. I am sad that my Alexandra is not nearby anymore but I am very interested in getting to know you better. If you feel safer without being near me I will understand and will try my best not to appear without giving time for preparations. We can communicate via text message for a while if you prefer that.   
Please give me a chance.   
Yours, Reign

Staring at her phone as if there was a ghost living inside it she shook her head. Who signed WhatsApp messages? It sounded like a business mail. But reading over the words again she smiled. It was weird and confusing and all those similar feelings at once. But at the same time it was incredibly thoughtful. Who would have thought that Reign, a worldkiller, would be so sweet. Maybe she could give her a chance. If her other self fought for her, there must be something in Reign that must be worth it.   
  
Putting her phone back on the nightstand she grabbed the newspaper, which lay forgotten under her empty coffee cup. A little research couldn’t hurt, considering she did not know how long she would have to stay here. People made smalltalk afterall. 

Also, knowing what’s going on in this world didn’t seem to be a bad idea either.

Glancing over the headline, her interest piqued in an instant. “Reign is back”, it read in big black letters, showing a picture of her, clad in a tight black and grey suit, her face hidden behind a mask and her hair up in a ponytail while blowing out a fire at the harbor. 

Darting her eyes over the article she read along the lines of “Our second superhero is back...after a long week of not hearing anything about Reign and Supergirl not commenting about her disappearance we are glad to see that she seems to be as healthy and helpful as before again”

Alex remembered vaguely hearing that Reign had gotten hurt before which has led to their fight and her other self trying to fix the portal. 

While she wondered what could have happened she didn’t notice the door opening or the clicking of heels on the floor.   
  
Shrieking, she looked up into a pair of green eyes as she felt a hand on her arm. 

“Alex, darling I did not notice you were that deep in thought”, Lena looked at her worried.

“Gosh, Lena. No, it’s fine”, she waved her hand in dismissal “I was just wondering what had happened to Reign that she couldn’t be out there saving the world for a week”, Alex mumbled, her eyes already glued to the takeout container in front of her. Was there actually worry in her voice? No, that couldn’t be.

Raising an eyebrow at the agent, Lena sat on the end of the bed, the medbay bed table between them. “I take it you are warming up to her?”, she asked, sticking her fork into the salad she had placed on the table shortly before.

“I wouldn’t say that I am warming up to her, but I am considering giving her a chance. If your Alex saw something special in her… who knows, maybe I will see it too”, the agent quickly answered, shoving another spoon of curry into her mouth “I am so sorry, I must be looking like Kara right now, but this is reaally good. Never had such a good curry in my entire life, if that’s all I get for landing in a different universe. I don’t care. I’m happy with it”, she said between bites, letting out a content hum while chewing on a potato.

Lena sat there, observing her silently, her salad long forgotten, while Alex happily ate her curry. “That’s not all you get, you know. We’re all there for you. It’s a crazy situation for all of us, but we’re going to make the best of it.”, the CEO smiled “That’s why you are going to be discharged tomorrow and after Sam has picked you up, we’re all meeting at Kara’s place for game night. And, now I can already see the gears of flight turning in your head, Alex, but you will be there and you will not be talking yourself out of it”, she raised her eyebrow at the redhead, full on knowing what she was planning to do “Because we want to get to know you and we are hoping that you want to get to know us as well. We are stuck together for an unforeseeable amount of time”, taking a deep breath “pretty long if you ask me”, letting the breath go “Being on good terms makes that all a little less scary. For all of us. And also we have to pretend to be the badass science duo”, she winked.

Lena Luthor has winked at her. That was another first. Maybe she should make a list of firsts happening on this earth so she could mockingly confront her friends at home with them.

“I...i would like that..”, Alex let out after finishing her food. “So”, she wearily started “how is Sam?”. Picking up her water as if to hide behind the glass, looking over the rim towards Lena while drinking.

“I will be honest with you”, the raven haired woman sighed “She is the most miserable out of all of us. She’s not only stuck with her own thoughts, but with another person in her head who is all over the idea of getting to know you, while Sam herself is worrying to death about the first person she let into her heart in the last 14 years”, wiping a hand over he neck, she looked towards the door “I know she will come around eventually. But while we’re all having hope that our Alex is treated with as much love as you are treated here, hoping that she will figure out the portal before us… Sam is scared that she will never see her again.”

“While still having to look into my face”, Alex continued, suddenly feeling sick “I get that, honestly, I do. Because I’m also afraid that I will not be able to see my family ever again. But having to look into their faces, plural, for god knows how long. Including the face of the woman who broke my heart a few months ago. Whose evil twin that tried to kill me and my family several times is somehow stuck in her body, all excited of me being here”, she spit out “I get it, Lena. Sam is suffering the worst out of all of us”

“Alex, I..I didn’t mean it that way.. I didn’t think-”, Lena started apologetically

“No, no Lena, you didn’t”, looking at her angrily, pointing her shaking hand towards the door, her voice steady and cold. “Thank you for the food, I will see you tomorrow at gamenight”.   
  
Sighing Lena stood, taking the empty container and her salad, heels clicking their way towards the door “See, Alex… I’m sorry.. I..I did not mean it that way”, she sighed again, voice thick with held back tears.

“I know you didn’t. But it still hurt.”, the agent voiced shakily “Good night, Lena”

Seeing the door fall shut behind the CEO, Alex threw herself into the pillows sobbing.

  
***   
  
She didn’t know how much time had passed as she heard a faint buzzing sound from the nightstand. Drying the tears in her eyes she threw her good hand in the noises direction, brushing the empty coffee cup to the ground while feeling for her phone. Groaning she decided that this would be a problem for tomorrow.

Unlocking her phone she was greeted with another message from Reign.   
  
**Sam 2.0:  
** Are you alright? Are you hurt or in danger? I am sorry for having invaded your privacy, but I was listening out for your heartbeat and it is at an alarming rate for a while now. I wanted to fly to you instantly but considering how afraid you were the last time I decided to write instead. I am there for you if you need me.   
Yours, Reign   
  
A tiny smile was spreading across Alex's face. Was she blushing? No, her face was probably hot from all the crying before. Taking a deep breath she decided to write back.

  
**Agent Alex:  
** I’m fine. Just a little overwhelmed by all that has happened. Nothing to worry about. Thank you for caring for me, you can always listen out for my heartbeat if that calms you.   
I’m not sure if I can talk to you yet, but being message buddies sounds great!   
What’s up with the weird “Sam 2.0” thing by the way?   
  
Grinning she sat up in her bed, fluffing her pillows and leaning cozily against them as she saw the three dots appearing on the screen. Why not give it a try, Danvers, she nodded to herself. 

Reign actually seemed to be a nice person, not caring for her because she felt obligated about it for one reason another, but because she was genuinely interested in her. Worrying even. And with all what has been happening it felt just so nice that she was reminded of home once again.

**Sam 2.0:  
** It’s this way so that when you get captured and someone takes your phone, they will not know who this number belongs to. It is to keep both you and Samatha safe.   
Yours, Reign   
  
**Agent Alex:  
** Maybe you should stop signing your messages then.   
Yours, Alex   
  
Chuckling quietly she watched the three dots appear and reappear several times. What a dork, she smiled, maybe even a little happily while she slowly slid down the pillows further, phone still in her hand, falling asleep.   
  


***

She woke the next morning freshly rested, not having slept this good for a long time. But the side of her hip was weirdly in a pain that wasn’t there before she fell asleep. Touching for her hip she felt something rectangular pressed to it under the blanket. Slowly pulling it away she held her phone in front of her face.

She never fell asleep on her phone. She never used it much.

Unlocking the screen she was flooded with memories of last night. Right. She had a message buddy now.

Her eyes flew over the messages that came in timestamped almost an hour after her last.

**Sam 2.0  
** -You are right. That was not a wise decision. But how else do you know who I am?   
-I figure you could just remember the link from my screen name to me. Understood.   
-Why are you not replying anymore, Alexandra?  
-Sam told me that you are probably asleep and that she wishes to do the same. She is mad that I keep her up while not exactly chatting to you.  
-Good night, Alexandra, this time tomorrow you will be out of the DEO and at home.   
-That was inconsiderate of me, I apologize   
-You will be at “home” 😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is almost finished, so consider it being out on the weekend.
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> Yours, Yasha :)


	3. Seeking Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad and happy tears.  
> Game night.  
> Mentions of death and heavy alcohol use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still overwhelmed by the response I got so far. Thank you so so much!
> 
> I'm not sure if I will be able to upload before saturday, so please do not worry, the fic isn't dying, I'm just not near a computer for a week and I probably won't upload from my phone.

Alex would not have guessed Reign to be an emoji person. Hell, she wouldn’t have guessed Reign to be someone to chat and care and watch over her loved ones at all. Her loved ones.. and Reign’s mysterious interest in her case.

It was a quarter past nine when the doc from two days before entered her room “Agent Danvers, glad you are awake”, the blonde woman smiled at her, placing a bag on the chair next to Alex’s bed “I am here to officially inform you that you will be discharged this afternoon. Miss Arias brought a bag with some of your clothes this morning, so you don’t have to leave in DEO attire. She said that she’s sorry she didn’t bring it herself but she needed to hurry to work as she overslept”, she spoke fast and firm, already heading back towards the door, leaving. “We are all very glad that nothing worse has happened to you, Danvers”

Pulling the bag onto the bed with her, she got to her knees, opening it varyly. Looking inside it did not seem to be so much different from her usual clothes. She pulled out a cream knitted sweater and some dark blue, almost black skinny-jeans. As her eyes fell onto the socks she had to suppress a laugh. They looked like cat paws! 

The bottom held another bag containing a pair of black ankle high boots with a small, chunky heel and a note.  _ I picked the most comfortable looking ones, as I didn’t know if you could walk on higher heels - Sam  _

So other-Alex was into high heels. Hopefully she owned a pair of sneakers. She would not work in the lab wearing high heels while fixing a broken portal. It always was a mystery to her how Lena would survive the whole day in these hellish shoes. It wasn’t that she couldn’t walk in them, it’s just that they were so uncomfortable that she didn't want to walk in them.   
Also they were not the best choice of footwear for an agent.

Looking back into the bag she noticed that there was no jacket in it. Scrunching her nose she darted her eyes around the room. No jacket in sight.

Sighing heavily, she grabbed for her phone again. Based on the clothes given to her and the ones her...friends?... were wearing over the last days it must be a similar temperature as in her world and there it was freezing.

**Agent Alex:**   
Hey Sam, Thanks for the clothes. Would it be possible to bring a jacket with you, when you pick me up later? I freeze very easily.   
  
Putting her phone down again she rubbed her fingers over the bridge of her nose. She really should go and take a shower before being discharged. Noticing that it’s been almost a week since she could consider her hair being washed, she quickly scrambled to her feet, grabbed her new clothes and left the medbay towards the showers.   
  
Not wanting to wait for the right temperature she stood under the water as soon as it was running. Squeaking slightly she slapped a hand over her mouth, grinning until the water adjusted to a pleasant temperature. 

Feeling her muscles relax for the first time in days felt too good to be true. For a moment it felt like she could be able to wash her worries away with the grease of her hair. But that wasn’t possible. She was stuck with people who didn’t want her here and who she didn’t really want to be around either. Who reminded her of her family and the friends she loved and had lost. Leaning herself against the tiles of the wall she wondered how she would be able to spend an evening with almost all of these people without feeling sick or the need to cry all the time.

Hope. She was hopeful yesterday when she spoke to Kara. Hopeful when she spoke to J’onn and even hopeful when she spoke to Lena. Until she told her about Sam. Alex knew that she had to divide her feelings for ..her Sam.. from this Sam. But it was just so hard to look into her eyes and listen to her voice when she looked exactly like the woman who dumped her. But she also knew how difficult it must be for Sam, considering she knew nothing about the state her girlfriend was in and there was just no way to contact her.   
  
Hope. And it all got down to her.

Holding back tears she rinsed her hair and got out of the shower, putting on the unfamiliar clothes that should be her own for a while. Sitting down to pull on her boots she wriggled her toes, looking happily at the cat paw socks. She really needed some of these back home.

Walking back towards the medbay she heard the faint click of her heels on the ground. She wasn’t used to that. She was an agent. She always walked quietly. Well, not anymore she guessed shrugging.

Passing the labs on her way back curiosity got the best of her. Tapping in her code on the field next to the door she was hoping it would be the same as on her earth. Letting her shoulders down a little, she let a relieved breath pass out of her mouth the moment the doors opened for her to open up the view to her lab.

With trembling legs she stumbled over some rubble towards what was supposed to be her desk. The lab looked worse than she’d remember it ever looking before. Grime was stuck to parts of furniture and walls, her desk was broken in half, her shelves knocked over. The remainder of the portal laid shattered on the left side of the room. Slowly kneeling down beside it she moved the tips of her fingers over the fully molten control panel. 

Swallowing hard she couldn't stop the tears from falling. Big, salty drops escaped her eyes, dripping down onto the remainders of the portal in her hands. There was just no way she would be able to repair this amount of damage. It was so much more than she had expected, there was nothing left. Building a multiverse portal from scratch could take years, maybe a decade without access to the right materials. There would be a reason why they had decided for one big portal instead of several smaller ones. If she was lucky this world had better access to them. If not…

Panic rocked through her body as she let out a faint scream. Shaking, sobbing, hidden behind a fallen shelf, a chunk of the portal in her hands she waited until her heart rate had calmed down before she slowly walked back towards the Medbay.  
  
Drying her eyes with her sleeve she plopped down on the mattress, staring at the door to her room. Maybe game night wouldn’t be so bad afterall. Not seeing herself leave anytime soon she could use a social safety net to catch her. Because at some point, they would all have the need to catch each other.

And game night meant alcohol. She couldn’t do this sober any longer. 

***

Alex had seen eight unread messages and even a missed call from Reign, but she ignored them, spending the time waiting to be picked up with the games on her phone.

When the door opened, a furious looking Sam was standing in it’s frame, quickly stomping in the redheads direction. “Why aren’t you answering your phone? Reign is going crazy to a degree that I really started to worry she would just break out and storm over to you! She probably would’ve, wouldn’t she be too scared to be near you because she’s afraid you’re some fragile thing that can be broken easily. And I mean, you may be, considering I do not know you very well. But you also are Agent Alexandra Danvers in your world, so you can’t be that breakable”, she huffed, redness creeping up her neck and eyes throwing ice cold daggers at Alex.   
  
“Director Danvers”, Alex grumbled before standing up “I’m Director in my world. And you are right. You don’t know me. But that does not mean that I have to tolerate you screaming at me”, her voice calm and composed, she rubbed her hand over her neck, looking down for a small second “Look, I’m sorry I made Reign worry. I’m not sure how to feel about that yet. But. I am sorry. I didn’t know the impact it would have when I allow myself to break down under pressure for a second”, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding she grabbed a thick, black coat out of Sam’s hands and shrugged it on, flinching slightly when pulling it with her injured hand.   
  
Sam appeared to be just watching her, lost in her head.

_ “You hurt her, Samantha. You need to apologize!”, Sam heard Reign say inside her head. “You worry too much about her, Rei. Don’t get attached, she’ll be gone before you know it and we will have Alex back. Our Alex. The real Alex”, she snapped back.  _

_ “But maybe I like her, Samantha. She certainly is interesting. She even joked with me last night”, it echoed in Sam’s head. _ _  
_ _  
_ Watching emotions flood over Sam's face was a sight for its own. Disappointment, anger and something that looked like a small smile followed by raised eyebrows full of wonder before they scrunched back down frowning again.   
  
Picking up the bag from Alex’s bed, Sam exhaled tiredly. “I’m sorry. You couldn’t know this. Reign genuinely seems to care for you, so please try not to worry her too much, because she’s not very good at holding her emotions back”, she smiled softly “She talked me into giving you a chance, because you gave her one. And I will try, but it’s difficult. I guess you understand that well enough”, giving the agent a tired smile, she nodded towards the door “We should get going.”   
  
Taking a deep breath the brunette linked her hand with Alex’s, intertwining their fingers. It felt like their hearts had stopped for a second, both smiling shyly at each other. 

“I can’t wait to get out of here and get to know this world a little”, Alex started, moving to leave the medbay “But I guess we shouldn't be talking about that anymore until we’re in the car”, she added quickly

They were almost at the garage when Alex heard a voice coming from the left side of the hall “Glad to see you moving again Danvers' ', an agent shouts “Like what you did with your hair, it shows your good site now”, he adds laughing.   
  
Looking at Sam panicky she feels herself wrapped up in a hug only a moment later. Hearing Sam shout “She only has good sites, Johnson” back at the agent, before she lowers her voice, whispering next to Alex’s ear “Our Alex brushes her hair in the other direction..I’m glad you’re doing it this way”

Blushing slightly, she clears her throat before winding out of the hug, not being able to look into Sam’s eyes and continuing to walk towards the garage again.

***

The car ride had been quiet, none of them daring to start a conversation. The sky hung low today, a veil of fluffy grey clouds hiding the sun as they passed through busy city streets.   
It looked exactly like on her earth. It felt almost scary how similar everything seemed to be. As the car stopped in front of Kara’s apartment complex. At her Kara’s apartment complex she felt a chill run down her spine. Yep. Definitely scary. And sad. Incredibly sad.

The front door to the building was standing open and so they decided to just knock at the superheroes door. Climbing up the stairs she instantly turned towards the apartment door, raising her first, ready to knock.

“What are you doing? That’s your apartment”, Sam smirked mockingly, already knocking on the door directly opposite the one Alex was looking at.

Maybe it wasn’t so similar after all. It’s been years since she called that apartment her own. Memories washed over her and she felt a knot forming in her stomach. Memories of a time she didn’t like to remember.

***   
  
Kara opened the door, smiling widely. “Come on in, how are you feeling Alex? Make yourself comfortable. Lena is already here by the way”, she started to ramble out, energy radiating from her entire being. 

“Uh..good..I guess..Glad I don’t have to stare at that boring white ceiling any longer”, the redhead nodded, still a little overwhelmed before finding herself wrapped in an embrace again. Kara slowly patting her back whispering “It’s going to be okay”

As if sensing the mood Lena looked up from her task at the kitchen island. “I’ve got your favorite juice for today. I mean. I hope it is your favorite juice, but considering your taste in food..”, she waved her hand “I guessed it would be”

A thank you already on her lips, the words juice and game night finally puzzled together in her brain. “Juice?”, she let out, a little pained and high pitched “Don’t you… don’t you drink, you know, a little more fun stuff for game night?”.

Dread showing on her face, she looked into two pairs of worried eyes. Lena’s and Kara’s, while Sam was looking at the juice, mumbling quietly to herself, probably talking to Reign.   
  
“Alex…”, Kara slowly started, placing a hand on the agent's biceps “We do drink at game night. But our Alex...she..”, speaking slowly as if looking for words she could sense the mood going down again.   
  
“She isn’t allowed to”, Lena jumped in again “The why isn’t important now, though.”, she breathed out, the topic being seemingly difficult for all of them “So you can handle yourself?”, raising an eyebrow she waited for a nod and then went to a cupboard getting out another glass for the bottle of scotch that was standing behind her.

Whatever the reason for her counterpart not drinking must be, it couldn’t be a pretty one.

Her eyes darting towards the door, towards her apartment, once more, she took a deep breath and moved to sit on the Sofa. Not everybody could be saved at the right time.

***   
  
Conversation flowed slowly, everyone drinking quietly, lost in thoughts while placing letters onto the scrabble board. The most interesting topic being if “enew” was a word allowed in scrabble and Kara pulling out a scrabble dictionary to prove it’s existence.

After taking another sip of her scotch Alex slammed the glass back to the table, groaning loudly “I can see the worried glances you shoot at me everytime I dare to look at my drink. What has happened to your Alex that I can’t drink in peace”, she huffed out “I thought this would calm my nerves and not make me feel even more awkward than I already do”.   
  
Brows furrowed slightly, arms crossed in front of her chest, but eyes pleading she looked at the others “I get that it must be something difficult to talk about, but honestly, If you won’t tell me then I won’t be able to calm down.”   
  
“She almost died”, Kara stated quickly, sadness thick in her voice “She was in a happy relationship a few years ago, they were talking about getting married. He was working in the medical team of the DEO and”

“He?”, Alex interrupted shocked, looking back and forth from Kara to Sam

“Oh. Yes, our Alex is Bi”, Sam voiced confused “Oh my god, Alex! I kissed you! Are you even...you know?”, Sam suddenly panicked, looking at Alex with wide eyes.   
  
“Into women? Yes. Exclusively. That’s why I was so shocked. But I’m glad that I didn’t wake up to some guy trying to kiss me”, she grinned sheepishly, her cheeks taking on a slight pinkish color. She couldn’t have said “Don’t worry about the kiss, I was wanting to do that for a very long time now”, could she?   
  
“Anyways”, Kara said, dragging the word out to get back the agent’s attention “One day he was called in to travel to Central City to help out with a case. The helicopter he’s been travelling in crashed. He was badly injured but we all thought he would make it until he passed away in the hospital a few weeks later”, her voice hoarse, the blonde tried to focus on a plant across the room “Alex fell down deep after that. First, she showed up late at work drunk, then she didn’t come in at all. I found her passed out on her sofa one day and took her to the hospital. It took awhile for her to get better, but she didn’t drink since”   
  
Gulping heavily, Alex looked over to her scotch again “I guess it’s time for some juice now”   
  
“No, it… it’s fine Alex, it’s just… a bit weird to see you...see her..like this”, Kara smiled again and Lena hummed in agreement.

“Maybe we can stick to the fun stuff, but go down a notch, okay? Reign is already driving me crazy because she bought this alien beer today and is all excited to try it. Or.. let me try it, I guess”, Sam shrugged.

Alex’s eyes grew wide at the mention of Reign, her face going all pale again until a small smile creeped up her lips. She never would have imagined to find herself in such a situation. It was actually quite funny. Or it was that glass of scotch making her think that.

Taking the glasses to the kitchen, Sam came back with three bottles of regular beer, and two of the alien kind.   
  
“Why did you get three of those? Anyone joining in I didn’t know of?”, the redhead asked, raising one eyebrow at the brunette.

“Nah. But if I can’t get down the alien one, I don't have to move again to get me a new bottle”, Sam grinned widely, winking at Alex, before noticing what she did and ridding her face of any emotion shown on her face again.  
  
_ “You can’t deny warming up to her, Samantha”,  _ Reign commented for Sam to hear, while taking in the evening quietly.

  
***   
  
“What do you think about playing Never have I ever”, Kara asked while opening her bottle.   
  
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Kara…”, Lena stated, shooting a soft glare at the blonde.   
  
“Think I haven’t played that in years”, Alex chuckled “But we’re here to get to know each other and all I got to know today is that my other-me used to be an alcoholic”, she said matter-of-factly, before coughing embarrassedly and adding a “sorry” quickly.   
  
This time it was Lena waving her off “It’s fine. Just..we all suffered through that...well, we all except for Sam because she moved here after his death”, uncapping her bottle, she sighed “Maybe we should play” before taking a big sip.

“Great!”, Kara exclaimed cheerfully, clearly deciding to get away from the heavy topics “I’ll start!”, mischievously grinning she leaned back into the couch “Never have I ever gotten a speeding ticket”

Alex and Sam drank. Though Sam grimley added “That’s because you don't drive! Lena get’s driven everywhere and you just fly”, to which Kara just grinned.

“Uhm..”, Alex voiced quietly after a few statements “I don’t know if it’s possible...but...could Reign join in with playing?”, fidgeting with the sleeves of her jumper, she looked up to Sam “Only if you don’t mind though..”

“You sure?”, Kara asked worriedly “You were quite startled the last time you saw her”   
  
Gulping heavily the agent nodded “I can handle it, I guess. And y’all here and she’s only been nice to me so far.”, nervously playing with her bottle she mumbled “Also I made her worry today...and...maybe she’ll worry less if she knows me better”

_ “Is she sure? She is sure! Samantha what am I going to do now? I’m gonna scare her away again! I can’t play that silly game with you!” Reign 's panicked voice echoed through Sam’s head. _

“Oh will you calm down, will you”, Sam groaned heavily, which made everyone look at the brunette “Reign is a scaredy cat because she’s afraid she will scare Alex again”, rolling her eyes she uncapped both bottles.

“She doesn’t have to play with us if she doesn’t want to...it’s just...I thought..”, Alex stumbled, not quite sure where she was going.

Sam exhaled heavily before closing her eyes, sitting straight “I just won’t give her a choice, so you will stop rambling like a child”

Before Alex could answer to that, she felt the glance of piercing dark eyes on herself, a shiver running down her back.

“ _ Good evening friends”,  _ Reign exclaimed in a monotone voice.

_ “Alexandra” _ , tipping an imaginary hat, she smiled up to Alex, eyes flying over her body as if to find any changes to the Alex of this world, before grabbing her beer and taking a sip, happily voicing  _ “Oh, that’s a good one” _ and leaning back. 

Alex was staring at Reign, her mouth opening and closing like a fish, the soft chuckle of both Lena and Kara filling the room.

_ “I scared her, I knew it”,  _ Reign said in a mocking voice, grinning cheekily at Alex, whose only reaction it was to audibly gulp, blush and stare down at her bottle again. 

Lost in her head Alex could hear Reign talking to Lena and Kara, but her mind couldn’t comprehend what was being talked about. Seeing Reign in front of herself didn’t exactly scare her. No, she wasn’t afraid that she would do anything to purposefully hurt her in any way, but she was feeling kind of unsettled. Nervous even.

A few minutes passed and Alex snapped out of her trance, shaking her head a little to clear her thoughts, she looked around the room. Lena was leaning onto Kara’s shoulder, smiling brightly, while Kara seemed to notice Alexs’s awakening and tried to shuffle away from the Luthor again. Raising an eyebrow at the pair, Alex looked at Reign, whose gaze fully turned back to her, a small smile across her lips.

“I’m sorry”, Alex mumbled softly “I was a bit startled, this is so...new for me, I kinda didn’t know how to react”

“We’ve all been there at one point”, Kara answered, having brought a few inches of space between her body and Lena’s “It’s kinda weird to see them switch, it’s going to be really fun when we play, ‘cuz they tend to switch for their drinks”, the blonde giggled, tears forming in her eyes, cleary believing it to be the most hilarious thing on the planet “So, we’re all here now, we all got drinks, let’s get to it again. As the guest of honour, I would say Reign first and then we’re going clockwise”

Rubbing her temples, Reign rolled her eyes playfully  _ “I can not believe that I am doing this” _ , she sighed  _ “Never have I ever played this game” _

Everyone went for their bottles, Reign closing her eyes for a second so Sam could grab her beer to take a sip, commenting “very funny Reign”, before switching back again.

While Alex watched her? both of them? with lots of curiosity, she silently wondered why Reign was now in control of their body instead of Sam. Maybe because she was far less disturbed by her presence than Sam was, but considering how scared she had been to show up at all, it left Alex startled. But instead of giving it another thought, she grinned and voiced “Never have I ever fallen asleep at work”, taking a big gulp out of her bottle. Much to her amusement everyone did the same. 

“All the time”, Lena chuckled.

“I nap every day, when Sam’s at work”, Reign answered baffled “It’s boring and there is nothing else I could do”

Amongst other things they all got to know that Sam was the only one who shoplifted for something that costed more than a dollar, both Kara and Lena having won several talent shows (for different things of course), they all aside from Reign having lied to their parents about where they were going as a teen and that Alex dumped someone via text message once.

“Look, he was a nice guy and I thought we would be going for drinks as colleagues, but I overheard him talking to his friend that he was going to kiss me that night. I just couldn’t go there and I chickened out when I wanted to tell him in person”, Alex explained, scratching her neck sheepishly.

“But what did you wrote him?”, Lena asked curiously.

“That my girlfriend got a promotion and we were going to celebrate”, Alex laughed “Just that I didn’t have a girlfriend and Kara was bugging me for hours about why she had to hear about this from a crying guy in the DEO hallway. She followed me like a shadow, always questioning who that woman was”

A sad smile flashed across her lips for a second, before she heard Kara’s full on belly laugh “I can see myself doing that”, wiping tears away she nudged Lena with her elbow “Your turn”

The ravenette furrowed her brows for a second “Since we’re at the fun topics now”, she grinned “Never have I ever kissed a girl”

Alex immediately took a sip, so did Lena and Reign before letting Sam take one as well. As the latter wanted to open her mouth to either comment or name the next statement, Kara tipped her head back and emptied the bottle.

It must have looked like Alex’s eyes were bugging out of her head, because instead of commenting on Kara’s beet red face, Sam almost fell from the armchair she was sitting on, while looking at Alex’s expression.

Lena was slowly patting Kara’s arm, while failing to keep a straight face.

“I had my suspicions about Lena, because she was at an all girls boarding school, but Kara? I am shook”, shaking her head laughing, Alex leaned back against her armrest “But I guess I shouldn’t wonder, my other-me used to enjoy being kissed by a guy” and with that, Kara joined in with the laughter again.

After the laughter died down they agreed to stop with the games, bellies already hurting and eyes wet with happy tears. Conversation flowed easier now, everyone exchanging funny memories from the past, all trying to keep the otherworldly counterparts out of them. All while Sam stayed in control of the shared body again.

The clock ticked closer to midnight and the brunette stood from the armchair, stretching her arms over her head “I’m gonna head home now, it’s gotten late enough and I should make sure Ruby sleeps at a reasonable hour, she has a soccer match tomorrow”

“Oh sure, take care on the way home”, Kara smiled at Sam, taking away the empty bottles.

“I’ll take you to the door”; Lena said standing, following Sam talking quietly while she already shrugged on her jacket.

Alex observed them for a moment, Lena having a soft smile on her lips while Sam was frowning back at her. Trying to make out what they were talking about, she was ripped out of her concentration when Kara walked back into the couch area of her apartment, a key dangling from her fingers.

Seeing Alex raise an eyebrow at the metallic thing Kara started to speak “For your apartment. I guess the original key is still in your locker at the DEO and so I thought I should give you the spare key for the weekend. I mean...if you don’t want to be alone you could crash here, but Lena is also staying tonight”

Shaking her head, the agent took the key out of the hero’s hands “Thank you, Kara”. Standing up she wrapped the blonde into a tight hug “I had a great evening, but I think a little alone time won’t hurt me”   
  
Lena was on her way back from the door, when she saw Alex getting ready to leave “I had a great time with you tonight. You’re crazy similar to our Alex, but it’s a bit like seeing Sam and Reign. They seem to be the same person, but if you look close enough you can see the differences”, patting the redhead’s arm, she smiled, trying to hide her sad eyes “Good night, Alex”   
  
“Good night you two, have fun with whatever you’re going to do now”, Alex smiled, taking her jacket and her bag and stepping into the hallway. With trembling fingers she unlocked the door to her old but new apartment, hearing Kara’s door close after her own.

***

After flicking on the light, she looked around the apartment. A black table with four chairs was standing near the entrance, the kitchen area was clean and a vase with old flowers was sitting on the kitchen island. The den had a white leather couch and armchair, a white table with several remotes on and a huge TV on a shelf filled with DvDs and games for consoles that were hidden behind a see through sliding door.

Strolling deeper into the apartment, she stepped into the bedroom, shrieking at a shadow that was coming towards her.

Calming her breath she got down to her knees, holding out a hand towards a fluffy grey cat “And who are you, mh?”, stroking the fur softly, her eyes fell on an equally fluffy, white teddy bear sitting on top of the star wars bed sheets. 

Sitting on the bed, she grabbed for the bear that was definitely coming from a cheap gift store. Smiling softly she felt tears run down her eyes as she looked at the T-shirt he wore.

“Welcome ‘home’” was written on it. The quotation marks clearly added later with a black ballpoint pen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and maybe got the references I made.
> 
> I'm considering to do something fun with this note section, like teasing a single sentence out of the next chapter or something like that, because I feel like I don't have to tell you that I am very happy for every comment I get.  
> So maybe there will be a short teaser in the end notes next week.


	4. Seeking Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats, cakes and challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back, chapter four and already updating later than planned. So I won't try and set a date in the future, just trying to upload one or two chapters a week.  
> But now, enjoy!

Alex woke to a heavy weight suddenly appearing on her chest. Inhaling a sharp breath, she opened her eyes, completely shocked to be greeted with a lick on her nose. Yellow eyes staring back at her.

“Well good morning to you too, cat“, she huffed out groggily while rubbing over her eyes “You want breakfast, huh?“

Stroking her fingers through the grey fur, the agent let out a quiet hum at the softness of it. She had always liked cats, but could’ve never imagined waking up to one on her chest. Pets fit into her life the same way as high heels. They simply didn’t.

Trying to shove the weight from her chest, she felt a sharp sting on her cleavage. Having tiny cat claws piercing through her skin hurt more than she would have thought. Giving up, she huffed one again. “I usually don’t appreciate it when someone is sleeping on me without telling me their name“, Alex murmured, scratching the cat‘s ear.

Grabbing her phone from her nightstand she quickly snapped a picture of the furball, sending it to Kara.

**Agent Alex:  
** Who is this cutie and what can I do to get it to move from my chest?

Alex saw the three dots appearing and disappearing again, only to be hearing the living room windows open and steps coming closer towards her.

“Morning Alex“, Kara grinned, slowly pacing closer. Her “Morning Azul“ was answered by a hiss from said cat, who then stood and jumped gracefully towards the ground, padding into the kitchen. Not missing out the chance of hissing at Kara once again.

“Thank god, I can move again!“Alex cheered, jumping up “You could’ve told me that I had a cute flatmate“, she grinned happily.

“I kinda forgot“, Kara murmured, scratching her cheek „He hates me!“, she then states, flailing her arms „The only people he lets close are Alex and Reign. Not Sam, no. Only Reign. His cat brain can somehow tell them apart!“

Chuckling, Alex followed the cat into the kitchen, opening one cupboard after the other on a mission to find food for Azul.

„It’s in the top left shelve”, Kara stated, sitting down at one of the bar stools at the counter “I wonder if he can tell you apart from our Alex… but he seems to like you”, Kara continued talking, while eying the cat cautiously “Or he just knows that you’re his food servant now”.

“How come Alex has a cat in the first place? With being an agent and all… I never got a pet for myself. Didn’t want it to be alone all the time”, placing the cat food into a blue and green checkered bowl and on the ground, the agent looked up to the hero before turning back towards the fridge.

“Oh. There was this sweet elderly woman living in my apartment. Shortly before I planned to move here, she passed away. Leaving her cat with Alex because she was the only one Azul would let close. Except for Miss Higgins I mean.”, Kara grinned “I managed to get the apartment, because nobody wanted to live in a place where an old cat lady died”, Kara shrugged “I’m happy I got it, but it’s actually really sad, she was a bit like family to Alex. Always giving her food when she made too much”

Pouring milk into her cereals, Alex let out a sigh. “She suffered through a lot of losses, huh?”, after placing the milk back into the fridge, her eyes stayed glued to a picture that was pinned to its door.

It was a wrinkled picture, probably about ten years old based on her young face smiling back at her. Hair in long open waves and bangs framing her face, the brightest grin on her lips as the arms of a tall dark blonde man wrapped around her front, smiling equally happy into the camera.

The last time she herself had bangs she probably was still in kindergarten.

“It’s so weird to see myself like that”, she mumbled, pointing at the picture “but she looks happy”

“She was”, Kara smiled sadly, stuffing her mouth with a spoon full of Alex’s cereals “We all were. They were a really cute couple. Sickening even. It took a toll on all of us when he passed away. I was so glad when Sam came around and I saw her sporting that grin again”, munching on another bite, she gulped heavily “And now she’s somewhere again and I just can’t stop worrying that she will end up in that bad place again..”   


“Kara, no”, stroking the blondes back softly, Alex spoke “She’s fine where she is right now. I just know that for sure.”, smiling a sad smile, she added “Do you want to know why?”   
  
Waiting for a nod, she looked her more than otherworldly sister deep in the eyes, speaking softly. “Because I am fine where I am right now. Because you are giving your all to make me feel included. And I know for sure, that everyone back home does the same for your Alex too”

Blinking back the tears in her eyes, Alex snatched the spoon out of Kara’s hands to finally eat her already soggy cereals.

***

The morning paced on with cat watching and quiet talks with Kara, trying not to wake said cat up after he fell asleep on Alex’s lap.   
  
“So, which cake are you bringing on monday?”; the agent heard Kara say excitedly. 

Blinking slowly she looked at the blonde confused. “Why should I bring cake to the DEO on monday? Shit, is it my birthday? Do I have a different birthday over here?”

“Uh.. no, it’s not your birthday Alex, relax. It’s just that we have this thing that everytime an agent stays at the medbay longer than a day they have to bring food once they’re back to work. Alex usually brings cake, because she’s amazing at baking”

“Hell no. No way I’m gonna bring a cake, I don’t plan on poisoning y’all. I can’t bake! I can not even cook, Kara! I saw more in this fridge than I ever had in my kitchen in over the last three years”, Alex spoke loudly, a little shocked “I will just buy a few donuts or something”   
  
Frowning Kara looked at Alex, tilting her head “You can’t just buy food, Alex. It has to be home made. To say thank you to those having your back while you were out”

She had to admit, that was a very sweet thing to do. But home-made? “That’s so dumb. Who cam up with that stupid idea?”, Alex grumbled, already trying to figure out a way out of this.

“It was Alex”, Kara sheepishly smiled “She was gone for a few months after what happened to him”, nodding her head towards the picture on the fridge “So when she got back she brought tons of cakes to say sorry and thank you. After that everyone just rolled with it and did the same when they were out longer than a day”

Sighing in defeat she looked at the cat, which was still sleeping on her lap. “But what do I do now? I can’t bake. Please tell me you can bake Kara!”, looking up with pleading eyes, she was looking at an embarrassingly grinning Kara. 

“You know… I also can’t bake.. I bring sandwiches, should I even end up in the medbay once”, scratching her neck nervously she then starts to talk again “I know who is an amazing baker though. But I’m not sure if you’re up to let her help”

Who could it be, that it was to be bad? She was in a different universe. For all that's worth, it could be Lillian Luthor, or even worse, Maxwell Lord and they’d be the nicest people showering their loved ones in cake. Gross.

Kara gulped down her orange juice, not daring to look into Alex’s eyes “It’s Reign. She wanted to get a hobby that doesn’t intimidate people, like sword fighting or whatever and then got stuck with baking”   
  
Grabbing the blonde by her shoulder to pull her around so she could look in her face, Alex stared at her, eyes wide in surprise “That’s not the worst I could have imagined, though nothing I would have guessed to be honest. I can just text her and ask if she’ll bake a cake for me, easy”, she grinned excitedly, already looking for her phone.

Not being able to spot the device, she noticed that it must still be laying next to her pillow on the bed, where she put it once Kara had entered her apartment. Her apartment. That thought had settled quite easily, though the uneasy feeling stayed present in her stomach area.

“You can write her, yes”, Kara said warily “And ask her to come over to bake, because it has to be home made, Alex”, she reminded her firmly.

Alex just shrugged “Home made by Reign is home made enough. Honestly, Kara. Last night was fun and all, but I can’t imagine her being in my kitchen, that isn’t even my kitchen to begin with, to bake together.”

It seemed as if Azul sensed the tension that started to build. Or maybe it was because Alex became more and more fidgety with every passing second, that he suddenly stood up on her lap, to jump off her to walk back into the bedroom. Curling up on the Pillow to continue his slumber.

Remaining silent for a few minutes, both kept looking at the countertop in front of them. Alex’s kitchen clock being the only sound to be heard, reminding them how much time was passing without them saying anything.

“Could you be here for the baking?”Alex broke the silence, annoyance clearly showing in her words, just to be met with hair flying around the blonde’s head as she shook it.

“I already have plans for the weekend”, Kara spoke, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks.

Raising an eyebrow at her sister, Alex grinned “I know that face, that’s not an expression that’s different on other worlds. I’m all ears”, waving her hand to Kara to signal she should keep talking, Alex’s smile grew at the redness starting to be more prominent at the super’s face. Crossing her arms, she kept on looking expectantly at Kara. She could allow herself a little fun in teasing, before she had to make the dreadful decision of baking with Reign.

“I...uh...I don’t know what you mean, Alex”, the Kryptonian began to stutter “It’s just… I..I have plans, yeah. Very… important plans to be exact.”   
  
Uh huh. That much could Alex see.

“It must be very important for you to be gone for the whole weekend, Kara”, Alex kept on grinning “You don’t have to tell me you know, but I’m taking over the part of your sister for now, so I have to make sure that you don’t do anything dangerous or silly”   
  
Kara shook her head slowly, the corners of her mouth turning upwards “Thank you, Alex. I will tell you….someday...probably... but.. it’s nothing dangerous..or silly. It’s very very good actually”, she quietly chuckled, before glancing at the clock again “And also, I should get ready for it. Because it’s important. And if it’s important you can’t just show up in dog printed PJ pants, you know”, she stumbled up and towards the door “Reign won’t hurt you, you know. And she’s been very happy with last night and all”, door already swinging open, Kara kept talking “If it’s too much Sam could still take over, you know”

“Sam hates me”, Alex exclaimed “And I can’t even be mad at her for that. Reign tough. She’s looking at me with those interested eyes that make me all fidgety and nervous it’s almost nauseating, Kara.”   
  
The super just smiled weakly “You’ll figure it out. Only call me if it’s like… a life or death situation, please.” before shutting the door.   
  
The redhead still sat in her kitchen, looking dumbfounded at the place the Kryptonian had stood at just seconds ago.

***   
  


Stepping out of the shower, Alex wrapped herself in a big, fluffy towel before walking back into the bedroom to go through her closet. Last night she had just put on the sleepwear that was laying on her bed, only noticing the awkwardness of sleeping in the clothes her other universal self had slept in before they switched after she had woken up in the morning.

Glancing at the phone next to her pillow, she sighed. She still hadn’t written Reign. Oh how she would love to just go and buy a cake, but the way Kara had gushed over Alex’s and Reign’s baking, their co-workers would probably notice a store bought cake. And Alex felt kind of bad for spending money that wasn’t exactly her own. Sure, she still got paid to her counterpart's bank account and had to pay rent and food with it, but she didn’t want to spend more than necessary until she was more than 100% sure that she wasn’t able to leave this place again.

Her heart ached at the thought of not being able to go back home and see her family and her friends ever again. Yet some kind of excitement spread all throughout her body at the thought of staying. Getting to know the people that accepted her as one of their own, at least for the most part. People that felt like family as soon as she laid her eyes on them, not only because they looked exactly like her own, but they also felt like one. Kinda different, but familiar at the same time.

Deciding that she couldn’t stay wrapped up in a towel for the whole day, she opened the first drawer on a big wardrobe, which was placed at the wall across her bed. 

An array of cutely patterned socks greeted her eyes. Grinning slightly, she grabbed a pair of light blue socks, with colorful cupcaked printed on them. Why not matching her socks to her weekend planning, she thought.

The next drawer held several neatly folded panties, looking and feeling a lot more expensive than the ones she was used to. What was wrong with that girl’s closet, she almost pitied other-Alex for being stuck with a closet full of boring socks, cheap underwear and the choice of either black or almost black clothes.

Already guessing the next drawers holdings, she looked at quite a few bras, all matching the panties in the other drawer. Yes, other-Alex would not be happy with her wardrobe that only held one matching set for special occasions. Grumbling, she pulled the most comfortable looking one out, deciding that as much as she wanted to be braless on a saturday at home, she probably should be wearing one should Reign really come over. If she declined the baking, Alex could happily throw it back into the wardrobe and not think about the garment until she had to go to work on monday.

Opening both doors to the wardrobe, Alex took in a sharp gasp. Next to a few dresses and jumpers that were way too happily colored for her taste, she saw three black leather jackets in front of her, that literally screamed high quality and perfection. Stroking her fingers over the soft leather, she let out a content hum. She could live with that. She definitely could.

Instead of pulling out one of the jackets, she grabbed one of a few neatly folded black leggings and a deep red jumper, that almost looked like it was too big for her. No need to be more uncomfortable and wear jeans, when she wouldn’t leave the apartment anyways.

Glancing over her ‘new clothes’ once again, she closed the wardrobe again and looked at herself in the mirror which was covering one of its doors. Brushing a hand through her still wet hair, she confidently nodded to herself before sitting down, opening the chat to Reign in an instant before she would chicken out again.

**Agent Alex:  
** Hey, Reign. I hope you’re having a lovely saturday. I got informed that I need to bring a cake to the DEO on monday, but I can’t bake. Kara told me that you’re good at baking though. Would it be possible for you to come over and help a desperate woman out?

Heart beating a mile a minute she hit send, tossing her phone on the bed, before letting her back hit the mattress as well. Being nervous was an understatement. She was fucking frightened to be alone with Reign! Sure, she asked if she wanted to join on playing that silly game last night, but she was already feeling the buzz of the alcohol giving her courage then. But now. She couldn’t always drink to be able to be around Reign without trembling or wanting to vomit. Just the thought of standing next to her in the kitchen made her stomach turn and her hands go cold. 

Demanding to be around her for some stupid cake was just too much. She shouldn’t have listened to Kara and just have bought some candy. Her hand was still hurt anyways, she could just say she wasn’t able to bake or whatever. But the buzzing sound of her phone signaled her that it was too late to delete the message now.

**Sam 2.0:  
** I’m glad to be of help, Alexandra. I will bring any needed ingredients that I know are missing at your place. I’ll be there in an hour.

Grumbling, she pulled her pillow over her face. She had one hour to calm her nerves and she just didn’t know how.

***

“Reign, calm down”, Sam groaned while pulling a black tank top over her head before tugging it into her jeans “It’s just baking. You don’t even have to talk to her”, rolling her eyes she grabbed her phone, waving it around slightly “You could ask Kara if she’ll join you to be on the safe side”

  
“ _ Kara has a date today, I will not get her away from that. She’s been all excited for almost a month now.”,  _ Reign’s voice echoes through Sam’s head.

“Right. I completely forgot. Lena is on a business trip until tomorrow afternoon though, so you have to bear with me as your only backup, Reigny”, the brunette answered out loud “I honestly don’t get why you’re so nervous though, she’s been completely relaxed around you last night. I mean, I don’t get your whole obsession with her either, you’ve never been like this around anyone else, Reign and it’s hard for me to see her face with all those conflicted emotions through your eyes. I’ll be honest with you, I wouldn’t go near her if I could.”   
  
_ “Samantha..”,  _ Reign spoke sadly.

“No, it’s fine. I won’t stop you, but it’s just. You can’t tell me that you don’t feel the almost physical pain I’m in because I’m craving to be near Alex, just to have her right in front of me and not be able to do that, because she’s not the real one! I know you miss her too. We love her!”, Sam exclaimed raging, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

If she would’ve been physically able to, Reign would have swallowed. Hard. There were times like this when she wished she could just jump out of the shared body to wrap Samantha tightly in her arms. But she couldn’t do that. 

She also couldn’t tell Samantha that she wasn’t all so sure if she really loved Alex. Sure, she felt emotions like anger and nervousness, but those were emotions fuelled by thoughts and not by the heart. And while she had her thoughts all to her own (except the ones she decided to share with Samantha), she had no heart of her own. So her feelings for Alex were the feelings Samantha had for the redhead.

What bothered her was how nervous Alex made her, how excitement spread through their shared body when she thought about getting to know the agent more. Samantha jokingly called her obsessed and maybe she was right. She just felt this pull towards that woman she had never felt before. But seeing her all flustered, eyes wide open in shock, adorably stuttering what she then thought to be nonsense on the day she woke up after the explosion made curiosity of the size of an elephant grow inside of Reign.

Sam’s voice slowly shook her out of her thoughts “Reign, you still there?”, she asked worriedly “I appreciate you giving me some privacy, to collect myself, but I didn’t hear a single thought of yours for well over ten minutes, so I kinda really start to worry. We also have to leave now, so we should probably switch”, Sam mumbled, pacing along the hallway.

_ “I am sorry, Samantha. I needed a second to collect myself as well. But I am ready to go baking now. If it’s bad I can be finished and back home in two hours and we can spend the evening watching that Disney movie I like so much” _

Closing her eyes, Sam let out a deep breath. Her body straightening it’s posture, her jaw locking tightly and her eyes so dark they almost seem black, once she opened them again.

Reign had taken over. And Reign felt her palms getting sweaty, as she grabbed the bag she had packed with everything she needed for the cake and headed out. Taking off to the sky the second she had turned the key to lock the house.

***

Alex jumped up from her couch, completely startled at the sound of her doorbell. Turning off the TV, she slowly walked towards the door, legs almost trembling again. Taking a deep breath to collect herself, she opened the door, shyly smiling at the taller woman.

“Come in”, her voice creaked with anxiety as she stepped out of the way, so Reign could get past her.

_ “It is nice to see you again, Alexandra. I hope you’ve been doing well”,  _ Reign spoke stoically, trying not to show any emotion in her voice, placing her bag on the kitchen island before pacing over to the sofa to pick up Azul and snuggle her face into the cat’s fur “ _ It’s nice to see you to, little prince”,  _ she hummed softly, before setting him down again.

Giggling softly at what was happening in her living room, Alex decided to unpack the bag which seems to be a lot more than she thought she would need for a cake. “What’s with all this stuff, that’s never needed for a cake”, she spoke doubtedly. 

Walking back towards the kitchen, Reign smirked  _ “Oh that’s not even all we need for a cake, Alexandra”,  _ already reaching for the cupboard, she pulled out flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.

“Uh huh”, Alex nodded warily, hopping onto one of the barstools at her kitchen island, eying the butter, cream and chocolate with big eyes. “Please tell me I’m allowed to eat some of the cake I have to bring to work”, she stated, clapping her hands in front of her face as if she was praying.

_ “You might manage to get your hands on some, yes. But I can make us two cupcakes with the same batter at the end, to make sure you get to taste some of the cake”,  _ Reign smirked again, silently chuckling at how adorable Alex was looking, eyes all happy, jaw all serious as she tried not to show how excited the thought of cake made her.  _ “If you keep on just watching me, at least entertain me, Alexandra” _ , Reign’s voice echoed through the room, her confidence having come back to her once she saw how nervous the other woman seemed to be around her.

“Am I being allowed to be all honest and curious while talking, or do you just want some ‘how’s the weather today’ kind of smalltalk”, Alex asked unsure, while watching Reign take out several bowls and measuring cups.

_ “Talk about anything, as long as we are not playing that silly game again”,  _ Reign groaned, already adding two cups of each flour and sugar and 3/4ths of a cup of cocoa-powder into a big bowl.

“Okay. Okay, cool”, Alex stated, running a hand through her hair for what was probably the fiftieth time today. “So.. I’m sorry if that’s too much to ask, but… how come you’re not...you know… all bad and evil?”, fidgeting with her sleeves, she tried to focus more on the fact that Reign just added a teaspoon of coffee powder into the bowl than on what she had just asked the worldkiller.

_ “I thought you would get me entertained, Alexandra, not the other way around”,  _ Reign huffed, adding a teaspoon of baking soda and a pinch of salt to the bowl  _ “I’m not sure what I did on your earth and I ask you to not tell me anything about it until I explicitly ask you for that”,  _ she stated before taking a deep breath  _ “But here, I have always been in Samantha's life. While she didn’t know that, I watched her grow, make mistakes and rise from them again. I watched Ruby since the day the little human was born and somewhere along the way I knew that I had to keep them safe, no matter what it would cost.” _

Taking out a whisk, she started to mix the dry ingredients together.

_ “So when Ruby got trapped under a construct made out of metal, I switched places with Sam for a few seconds to get her out of it. From that moment on I knew that I needed to be present to keep them safe.”,  _ placing the bowl on the counter again, she cracked two eggs in the mix, only using one hand  _ “I started to hunt down everyone that seemed to be dangerous, requesting help from my sisters to make the world a safer place for my family, never daring to tell Samantha that it’s been me and I was doing it all for her. Only watching her slowly go crazy until our Alex found out that we were the same person, trying frantically to find a way to stop me without hurting the woman she was slowly getting close to” _

Adding a cup of milk and a half one of oil, she sighed heavily  _ “It wasn’t until the day my sisters went to attack Ruby that I noticed what I was doing wrong. At that time I...we.. were already locked up in a cell at the DEO. I opened up to Samantha in that three days we were trapped there until I decided to take over the control she handed me willingly for the first time to talk to Alex. Who then fought for me to get me released so I can stop my sisters from hurting my daughter.”, _ the Kryptonian kept on explaining while starting to boil water in a kettle.

A warm smile was set on Alex’s lips. Love and adoration was visible in Reigns' face, as she continued to add the boiling water into the mixture while stirring.

_ “As soon as I got back Alex and Sam started to go out and after a few months I started to get thrown into the relationship more than I wanted at first. But I genuinely care for Alex and it’s nice to have someone believe in me other than Samantha or Ruby. Who thought I was the coolest addition to her family, by the way. She said I’m the world’s best hero after finding out I saved her and her mother several times” _ , Reign chuckled lowly, shaking her head at the thought, while pouring the batter evenly into two cake tins and two cupcake mold out of silicone, waiting for the oven to preheat to 350°F.

Looking at the brunette with tears in her eyes, Alex bit her lip. Fidgeting around she decided to scratch her neck this time, instead of going for her hair again. “I think I can also trust you, Reign.”, she softly spoke “You’re a completely different person than the Reign I knew back home. You’re selfless and caring and I can see why Alex liked to be around you”, she tried for a genuine smile, her hands still trembling in nervousness. Oh how she hoped that Reign wasn’t looking out for her heartbeat right now.

Trying to get an idea of what to say next, she saw Reigns eyes sparkle with tears as well  _ “I couldn’t ask for more, Alexandra. Thank you for trying to trust me” _

“No, Reign. That’s all I can do.”, she jumped off the stool, walking over to the Kryptonian with shaky legs, holding out her hand for the brunette to shake “Thank you for trusting me”

And as their hands touched, shaking carefully, Alex thought how surreal this situation really was. She was standing at home, in her kitchen, shaking hands with a woman who once tried to kill her, but now being oblivious to a streak of cake batter on her chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cake recipe is a real one and has to be baked for about 30 minutes - just so you know.
> 
> And as promised, the teaser sentence:  
> "I can't believe you still haven't told anyone, darling", Lena spoke grinning while watching the the sun go down behind small ocean waves.


	5. Seeking Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend paces on peacefully and Alex goes back to the DEO on monday.  
> A bit of supercorp in between, Danvers sister talk near the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5, yay!  
> And already over 20k words. We're slowly going deeper into the story but at this pace I'm considering this story to reach 200k words before finishing.   
> I'd be happy if you would stick with me until the end, I'm not promising anything but there might be more uploads during the next month.

It felt like minutes had passed when it barely had been seconds until Alex pulled her hand away again. Reaching for a napkin she grinned at Reign, a bit of her confidence slowly settling in her body again. “You’ve got a beard”, she said while handing the napkin to the worldkiller smirkingly before she jumped back up on the barstool.

The brunette still stood next to the oven frozen. Like a statue built into the kitchen. Hand held out to a handshake position, napkin stuck between her fingers, her eyes glued to her fingertips until her body suddenly startled, eyes turning lighter and her posture becoming just a little bit more slouchy.

“Sorry, I think you’ve kinda broke her”, Sam spoke, visibly trying to hide the amusement from her voice as she wiped the batter from her chin “I’m gonna help out for a second while she composes herself”. Grabbing the cake tins, she slowly slid them into the now hot oven, adding the cupcake molds after them. Eyeing the redhead cautiously, she then leaned on the counter raising an eyebrow, crossing her arms “Just so you know, I still don’t trust you.”

All Alex could do was to shrug to Sam’s statement. Sure, she was freaked out about Reign being paralyzed because of a handshake, yet she also was startled by the warm feeling the touch of the Krypronian’s hand had left in her stomach. But she wasn’t afraid of Sam. Especially not now that she had gotten the trust of the stronger one of the pair. “I still wouldn’t trust me either. To be honest, I have a hard time trusting all of you but I really don’t have another choice. I’m also still not more happy to be here than you are happy to have me here, trust me on that”

It felt like something tweaked inside her as she spoke. The same feeling you get when you are lying. The same feeling she already had once or twice when the thought of going back had crossed her mind. But she didn’t lie. She wasn’t supposed to be here, she shouldn’t get settled. She had to go back. And she would do that, hopefully sooner than later.

The reason she could see herself spending time with Reign was because she wouldn’t have to look at her back home and see all that they had just not been real in a way. It now felt right in a way. It was horrible enough to face those emotions now and she knew it would be complicated to be back, even after the last few days where she made one or two happy memories already. But Reign wouldn’t be there. She would not look at her, not being able to share all the memories Alex had made with her. Because in her world, Reign had died a long time ago.

She really wished she could have landed in a different universe, with different people surrounding her. Preferably a portal to go back home right at her side.

***

They kept on silently looking at the oven or any other place except at each other, not really wanting to engage in any conversation. If Alex would have looked at Sam, she would have seen the emotions flood over her face one after the other again.

“Reign what the hell is wrong with you?”, Sam voiced angrily in her mind “I have not once seen you like this, so explain yourself. I said I’m going to be your backup should anything happen, but that was certainly not what I had meant”

“ _ I do not know what happened there, Samantha. She looked at me with this conflicted expression, her heart beating as if she had run a marathon and then she held out her hand”,  _ Reign started.

“And then you shook it.”, Sam finished coldly “What’s the big deal. You’ve never acted like this Reign, do I need to worry? Please don’t tell me you’re getting attached to her. She’s going to be gone in a few days, weeks max.”   


“ _ I know that Samantha. It’s just… I don’t know. It is somewhat exciting. I can interact with her without worrying what she will think of me, or what she will do. Because her actions are limited. Nothing will have a long lasting effect _ ”, it felt like really having a second chance for the first time. She still didn’t trust most of the DEO. Sure, she called some people her friends but she still worried about how they were perceiving her. It was different with Alex. She had her Reign experience, sure. But it was a different one. Nothing connected them. All possibilities were open for the first time in her life. And it made her chest flutter in anticipation and fear at the same time. Because she already dreaded the day Alex had to go back, sad that her actions would not have any long lasting effects except for hurt and longing.

“Just...don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”; Sam added groaning while rolling her eyes, her mouth staying shut. She could feel Reign’s deep chuckle vibrating through her core “ _ You would not even talk to her, Samantha _ ”

***

“ _ I am back and I am sorry that I have startled you” _ , Reign stated flatly, just a second before the timer on the counter next to her went off. She quickly opened up the oven and pulled the baked goods out, frowning as soon as her eyes fell on the over baked cupcakes.

Alex looked over to the worldkiller, hands firmly around a cup of coffee, fingers interlacing as if trying to keep grounded while holding onto it. “It’s fine, really. Though I think that Sam really struggled not to kill me right on the spot with the way she had been looking at me”

“ _ I will keep you safe from the wrath of Samantha” _ , Reign spoke with so much honesty, that it almost sounded funny. What neither Alex nor Sam could hear was Reign silently adding “ _ I will keep you safe from everything trying to hurt you” _ hidden in the part of her mind in which Samantha couldn't see.

Smiling at the statement, Alex walked over to the taller woman to get a better look at the cakes “They are smelling so good, I might actually drool”. Her legs were shaking slightly, the fear that was rooted deep in her bones still present, but her voice was steady and light “I was lazy long enough. Is there anything I can still help you with?”, she spoke smiling while jumping from on leg to the other to conceal their shaking. 

She had noticed all the untouched ingredients on the counter, making her almost a hundred percent sure that the cake was not finished after baking.

“Sure, we need to make a frosting and then decorate it. Could you grate some of the chocolate, while I mix up the buttercream?”, Reign asked smiling, taking a step towards the ingredients, her arm brushing Alex’s shoulder lightly in passing.

“Yes! That’s something that I can do without ruining anything. I guess”, Alex grinned, grabbing the grater from the countertop. Unwrapping the chocolate quickly, she snapped up a piece and stuck it in her mouth, chewing happily. Happily until she noticed Reign’s angry stare sending chills all over her body. “Mhsorry, but I had to try if it’s tasty”, she mumbled sheepishly, holding out a piece of the sugary treat to the Kryptonian “You want some?”   
  
Without saying a word, Reign took the chocolate and turned around again, hiding a grin as she ate.

The Kryptonian quickly mixed up equal parts of butter and powdered sugar and then laid everything out next to each other on the counter “ _ I am going to fill the cake with buttercream and then spread it all around it. After that you will stick the chocolate all around the cake, so the cream will not be seen anymore” _

Before Alex could even think up to answer, Reign had already started her task. Precisely adding a layer of cream to one layer of cake before setting the second cake on top of it. The agent continued to watch with her eyes wide open. She had never seen a cake being made with so much care. It soon was evened out completely, no bump or dent visible in the sugary coat. A bit of buttercream being left to be put on top of the cupcakes.

“Are...you sure that I should be the one to put the chocolate around it? I mean...it’s what people will see, right?”, suddenly unsure Alex looked up to the brunette only to see a big, wide smile across her face. A smile which was probably intended to look friendly, but was intimidating nonetheless.

“ _ Of course you should do that, Alexandra. You wanted to help. If it turns out horribly you can just say that Ruby helped you” _ , the corners of Reigns lips twitching to a slightly evil smirk, her eyes gazing into the redhead’s brown orbs deeply, she continued “ _ So let’s see if you are better at decorating a cake than a child _ ”

***   
  
The cake had turned out good enough not to be presented as being made with the help of Ruby. Reign had left to spend the evening with Sam, because she was promised to watch some movie she really liked, which Sam was tired of seeing already but had promised Reign to watch it for a reason that stayed a mystery to Alex. Kara was away for the evening. For what was definitely a date, Alex assumed and so she was left all alone in her apartment that didn’t even belong to her again. She would only call someone if her life depended on it and let’s be honest. She still wouldn’t call anyone, trying to handle it herself.

She decided on sandwiches for dinner, because the fridge was stuffed with food that she did not want to let go to waste and that was one of the things she could make on her own without taking the risk of burning the house down. Tomorrow she could consider cooking again, but today she had spent enough time in the kitchen, even though she sat there watching most of the time.

“At least you are keeping me company”, she later said to Azul while he was curled up on her stomach as she watched TV mindlessly, chewing on one of the cupcakes which still was incredibly tasty, even with it’s over baked dryness.

***

On the other side of the country Kara was sitting at a dining table, dressed in a nice white blouse and dark blue dress pants, glancing at her phone. “You know we could have cancelled for today, right?”Lena said “You’ve been looking at your phone for the tenth time just this hour. It’s usually me doing that and I have actually turned my phone off for dinner”

Letting her phone slide back into her pocket Kara looked up apologetically. “I’m sorry. It’s just...I worry, you know”, the blonde sighed before reaching out to lay her hand on top of Lena’s, a loving smile on her lips “But this evening is for us and I was looking forward to it.”   


“But your mind is still in National City”, the ravenette concluded, softly moving her thumb over the back of Kara’s hand..

Inspecting their plates Lena made a decision. With one swift movement of her hand a waitress appeared next to them within seconds. “I would like to pay please”, she spoke, immediately handing her credit card over to the woman.

Glancing at Kara she saw her brows furrowing in wonder, her eyes gleaming as if to get ready for her famous puppy-pout, because they would be leaving without a dessert. Closing her eyes for just a second while shaking her head as if to say ‘just wait’ was luckily enough to make Kara relax again.

“Have a good night”, she heard the waitress say as she handed the credit card back to Lena. The Luthor stood nodding, taking her jacket and shrugging it on, watching Kara do the same before they left the restaurant.

It was a nice November evening. They had spent the afternoon travelling to the coast, which didn’t take too much time considering Kara had carried Lena bridal style, wrapped in a blanket as a shield from the cold. Now they had left a restaurant way over Kara’s budget which Lena barely deemed appropriate for a date near the shore and the Luthor kept on walking towards the water, brushing the Kryptonians hand ever so slightly with her own.

“I really thought we would stay a little longer in there”, Kara spoke quietly, carefully interlacing her fingers with Lena’s “The apple pie looked really good.. and it’s cold outside. I mean, not that I’m freezing. I never freeze. But...uh...I don’t want you to catch a cold”

Standing right at where the waves were reaching the beach Lena came to an halt. “Then I guess you should warm me”. Cocking an eyebrow her arms found their way around Kara’s neck, holding her close, nuzzling her face into the soft fur of Kara’s hood moments later.

The couple stood in silence, taking in the chill evening air.  "I must say, that can't believe you still haven't told anyone, darling", Lena spoke grinning while watching the sun go down behind small ocean waves, laughing as Kara’s cheeks started to spot a deep red color.

“I mean...I wanted to..really...but..I just..I didn’t know how to tell Alex, you know and then everything happened and suddenly Alex wasn’t really Alex anymore, even though she is. I mean...you know what I mean, right? And Sam. I know you wanted to tell her after I tell Alex, but she’s so sad right now and I kind of don’t want to disappoint her when she finds out that we haven’t told her for a month and-”, Kara stopped her rambling, sighing softly into the kiss that was placed on her lips. 

Hands tangled in hair and thick winter coats as red lips found pink ones, cheeks flushing and bodies being pulled together until they broke apart once the sun had set completely.

“We should tell them, right? I mean...I can practice with Alex now for when the real one comes back”, Kara then grinned, eyes full of love for the woman in her arms.

“We should”, Lena smiled equally, being glad that this weight would be lifted off of her chest soon. She couldn’t stand the thought of lying to Sam, lying to the only person she called her family out loud and without any help there was just so much time the two of them could spend together as a couple with the news practically being glued to Lena’s back. “But for now, we should go to that crêpe place down the shore for dessert”

***

  
  


Alex spent Sunday all alone in her apartment, not wanting to bother Reign or Sam again as they already spent the previous day with her. She knew that Kara was coming back in the evening and Lena seemed to be out of town as well. She still had Azul as her company, so she wasn’t completely alone, yet it was an odd feeling considering someone had been at her side almost all the time, except for the evenings and nights.

Her day had started with cereals and cat cuddling, catching up on the newspaper. Politics seemed to function similar to her home planet with the exception that Olivia Marsdin was still in charge of being president, making the anti-alien protests far more quiet in relation to that. Lena seemed to be running CatCo to an alltime high in sales this month due to exclusive rights on coverage about Supergirl and Reign and L-corp had just announced a presentation at an exclusive thanksgiving gala. All earnings from said gala would be used for National City’s children's hospital, but Alex still wondered how many people in town would even be able to attend, considering the horrendous price for the entry tickets.

Flipping through the pages she saw another picture of Reign, helping out with a robbery the previous morning. Guess she wasn’t the only one being saved by the dark clothed Kryptionian yesterday.

Later on she watched some action movie on TV, thinking about how cool it was to do all of that for a living, but her thoughts drifted off to everyone who was old but still new in her life every few minutes. Drifted to the different circumstances, to her supposedly new personality and life.

In the evening she decided that she would try to cook something out of the ingredients in her fridge because she felt too embarrassed to give it all to Sam or Lena and this way it wouldn’t be wasted. 

Her kitchen looked like a tomato bomb had exploded, dishes and leftover ingredients being sprawled everywhere. Alex had sat in front of the oven, watching her food being cooked until the cheese turned golden.

It wasn’t by far the best veggie lasagna she ever had, but it also wasn’t the worst. So she was content with her cooking, forking down two slices of her food before she sighed heavily. “That’s why I don’t like to cook, Azul. Look at all the mess I made”

Tiredly pacing into the bedroom after cleaning up, she slipped on her new found star wars pyjamas and slid under the blanket, eyelids heavy already. She hadn’t done much today, but it was exhausting nonetheless. Ready to fall into a deep slumber she opened her eyes as soon as she heard the faint buzz of her phone on the bedside table.

**Sam 2.0:  
** We are going to pick you up tomorrow after we took Ruby to school. Should be there around 8:20am. Sam will be in charge but I will make sure that she will not harm you Alexandra.    
Rest well, see you tomorrow.

A smile spread across Alex’s lips. She didn’t know why she had to be picked up, she had noticed the way to the DEO being the same as in her world and also Kara living right next to her, she had considered asking the blonde to go with her. 

It dawned on her though, that she had never voiced knowing the way and also that Kara would most probably be either still flying around town as supergirl or go to CatCo instead of the DEO.

Nodding to herself she made sure that her alarm was set to 7:30am so she would have enough time to properly wake up but not enough time to panic and cuddled up in her pillows again. She knew that tomorrow would take a toll on all of them, she needed to be rested. Because she didn’t know when she would be able to get a full night of sleep again.

***

When her alarm went off she considered pressing snooze to doze off for a little while longer. That thought was cut by Azul jumping on top of her legs, nudging her slightly, signing she should get up because he wanted food.

Another reason she never got a pet. They disturbed her morning.

Grumbling, she stood up, walked into the kitchen and poured a portion of cat food into Azul’s bowl, stroking his tiny head for a short moment as soon as she sat said bowl down to then give him time to eat and take the given timeframe to go for a long shower. Morning showers always made her feel alive again.

Out of the shower she decided to wear her new favorite pair of black skinny jeans, a dark blue shirt and one of the wonderful leather jackets she had noticed the day before. Looking at the shoes she gulped. No one could bring her to wear heels today. Searching for a few minutes she found a pair of newly looking high top boots without a heel, looking comfortable enough to be able to even go out on a field mission.

Slipping on the boots she paced back into the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of coffee and playing games on her phone while she waited to be picked up by Sam and go back to the DEO. The cake standing next to her door in a plastic carrier, ready to be brought to work with her.

The doorbell rang exactly at 8:20am, so Alex jumped up from the barstool she had sat on, stuffed her phone into her jacket’s pocket and opened the door smiling, cake already in hand. “Good morning”. Couldn’t hurt to be nice to Sam, who usually was grumpy before her third cup of coffee and being nice was better than grumbling to herself in that case.

“Morning”, Sam answered, confusion written all over her face “Wouldn’t have guessed you to be a morning person, I’m used to drag Alex out of her apartment by force to get her to work early”

Alex started to laugh “I’m not”, she took in a deep breath to calm herself from all the laughter shaking through her “I’m not a morning person at all, neither is the Sam I know though and being overly cheery usually got her not to be too grumpy all morning”

“Guess that’s different here, I already went for a run this morning, had breakfast with Ruby, who isn’t happy to wake up early either, and now I’m here, taking you to work and we should really get going or I’ll be late at my work and I don’t plan on attending my 9am meeting a second later than 9am sharp”, Sam stated flatly, already walking down the stairs to get to her car.

Closing her door Alex sighed. It could have been worse. Sam could have been grumpy. Maybe the morning energy came from sharing a body with Reign considering Kara also used to be up with the sun everyday.

***

They didn’t really talk during the car ride, the only sounds around them being traffic noises and the radio playing some pop music quietly.

As soon as they came to a halt Alex opened the door, willing to jump out but turning at the feeling of a hand on her biceps. 

“Hey, uh. God, I really don’t like asking this, but there is this huge gala coming up at L-corp on thanksgiving and I wondered if you would accompany me to it should you still be around by then? It’s gonna be boring, but It would be weird to show up without my girlfriend. Kind of.”, Sam spoke, eyes darting back towards the steering wheel, one hand still left on Alex’s arm while she scratched her cheek with the other.

That really wasn’t something Alex had thought about when reading about the gala in yesterday's newspaper. Sighing out loud, she nodded.

“Sure, I guess I could do that. Just give me a heads up about what clothes to wear and I’ll see what the wardrobe is holding”, carefully shrugging Sam’s hand of, she grinned “Can’t be too bad to attend, the L-corp galas at home always had amazing scotch”

Alex grabbed the cake, leaning at the door slightly “good luck at your meeting”, she smiled at the brunette before closing the door with a thud and walking inside the DEO. She wouldn’t have thought to be wandering these halls alone.

“Alex, Hi!”, she heard a cheery voice next to her, being hit by a faint blow of wind right afterwards.

“Kara, good morning”, the agent smiled in relief, she wasn’t alone and that was a great feeling. The thought that the others didn’t trust her crossed her mind for a second and she was nodding to herself, knowing that they were guarding what was important. But she also knew that Kara decided not to leave her alone because it wasn’t nice to be all alone in a new environment without somebody to lean on. 

“So, how’s your date been going?”, Alex asked. The hallway was long and they had an elevator ride coming up, so she decided smalltalk was a good thing. Also she was being excited for Kara, her sisterly senses didn’t stop for the otherworldly blonde.

“Oh..uh..my..my date..yeah.”, Kara stuttered, cheeks flushing red, her hands tugging at her skirt “It was great, really. We’ve been having a nice dinner and spent sunday strolling around the beach”   
  
The beach, huh. That would explain why Kara was staying overnight. It wouldn’t be too far away if the city's location was the same as on her earth, but there it could be a solid four hour ride on the weekend, so driving all that only for dinner sounded off. Or maybe the date lived near the beach? Was Kara doing long-distance? She could fly and had super speed so it’s not big of a travel for her, but still… Alex wondered who the date was.

“Am I getting to know more about them or is that too much of me to ask? I’m just really happy for you, Kara, and I have a lot of curiosity inside me”

“Them?”, Kara asked startled, eyes widening for a second. 

Really, that was all Kara was hearing out of this?   
  
“Yeah, sure. I know you kissed a woman before and to be honest, I think Kara back on my earth is straight as can be, but this is another universe, so who knows where your preferences lay in”, Alex shrugged again, chuckling quietly to herself while pressing the elevator button.

They waited in silence for the elevator to arrive, Kara’s cheeks still flushed, her fingers twirling the ends of her cape nervously.

“You wouldn’t think it’s weird if it was a woman?”, the Kryptonian started to bounce on her heels while they watched the floor numbers go past them.

“No, why would it? Kara I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m a lesbian”, Alex grinned, even though it felt a bit off to have this conversation “I also know your Alex is into woman as well, she’s Sam’s girlfriend. So I don’t really get why you are worrying about it being ..weird..?”

Seeing the blonde shaking slightly, her hands rubbing over her cheeks to wipe away tears, Alex pulled her into a tight hug. “Shhh. You don’t have to worry, okay? All that matters is for you to be happy and while I don’t know your Alex, I hope that I can say that all she would care about is your happiness as well”, patting the blondes back carefully Alex tilted Karas head up and smiled “I’m the last person to judge you, Kara. I’m here, for whatever you need me. I’m always there to listen to your worries and be your shoulder to cry on.”

She felt the air being knocked out of her lungs as Kara wrapped her in a tight embrace, taking a deep breath as soon as she was set free again.

“Thank you, Alex”, the blonde quietly spoke “Like..a lot..really, it means a lot to me”

They jumped apart when the doors opened, both straightening their clothes, Alex hiding her smile immediately. 

“Alex, glad you’re back”, J’onn waved from across the room, his eyes practically piercing into her as to remind her to not mess this up. Several agents joined in with the waving and shouting.

Alex felt like blushing. But she couldn't blush. Not now. Not to that. Not at work. It felt nice for a second, just until she realised that they weren’t really cheering for her a second later. She then started to feel nauseous immediately. 

Putting the cake down at a table across room where some cupcakes and sandwiches were already standing, she turned back to the room.

“I brought a cake guys, I really hope you like it. Thanks for having my back while I was out”, Alex loudly spoke before rushing towards the restroom. Already feeling the super catching up behind her she hurried into one of the cubicles, locking the door before tears streamed down her face.

She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to be home.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on Twitter now. I regularly tweet about my writing progress even though I barely have any followers, so feel free to visit me over there @MaskedQuill
> 
> Chapter 6 preview sentence:  
> "Don't touch me!", Alex screamed, tears running down her face as she slapped the outstreched hand away.


	6. Seeking Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shoveltalks, tears and acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> It's been a while but my exam is over and I'm finally rested enough to spend my days writing.
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments I have gotten in the last few weeks. You're all making my days. I'm so excited to see new and reacurring names showing up. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much!

Alex was standing in the cubicle, back leaned on the door, hands covering her face as silent tears streamed down her face.

“Alex?”, Kara asked full of worry as soon as she pushed the door to the restroom open.

“I’m fine, I’m just not feeling well. Just...just give me a minute”, Alex tried to speak calmly between ragged breaths. Apparently failing miserably at that, because Kara’s face showed up above the cubicle’s door. “Boundaries and privacy aren’t your thing, huh?”, she laughed shakily, looking up to the blonde.

“Super Hearing. I knew you stood there crying. Come on, open up. Or at least talk to me”, Kara sighed sadly. The struggle of not knowing how to handle the situation was written all over her face. She wasn’t used to comforting her sister, especially not at work and Alex wasn’t even the sister she knew, so she wondered even more on how to handle the situation.

Alex just stood there, quietly looking up to the other woman, wiping away the tears on her cheeks regularly “Look, Kara. I’m just overwhelmed, give me a few minutes to compose myself and I’ll be back out, ready to go to work”

Kara wasn’t all too sure if Alex was telling the truth, but she also couldn’t sense her lying. But she saw her crying, big salty tears and it broke her heart to see the woman she swore to protect like this.

“It’s Lena”, she blurted out in an attempt to turn Alex’s thought into another direction “The date. It was Lena”

Alex stared at her wide eyed, jaw slack, trying to process what she just had heard. The tears stopped falling as her mind tried to wrap around the words the blonde had just spoken.

“You’re not saying that just to make me stop crying, do you?” Alex questioned raising an eyebrow while unlocking the door, just to step out and cross her arms at the younger woman.

“What? No!” Kara exclaimed, blushing furiously “But it worked, right?”, a big smile had spread across her face “I’m seeing Lena. For a month already...you’re the first I’m telling this and to be honest I have not expected to tell it under these circumstances”, she chuckled deeply, motioning her hand across the room.

Alex just kept staring at her, processing. Suddenly a lot clicked together, like puzzle pieces assembling right in front of her eyes. The hoodie Kara had worn on the first evening, the unsure but longing glances, the sitting together but jumping apart as soon as someone noticed, both being away for the same timeframe on the weekend. She hadn’t thought much about it, considering Lena was Kara’s best friend in her home world, regularly staying over, lending each other clothes, making each other small presents. But here Alex was Lena’s best friend. And thinking of the pictures that were plastered across her living room, there were very little where the both of them were framed at the same time.

“Oh”, was all she said before a smirk slid up her lips “So that’s the reason for our elevator talk, huh?”, she took a quick step forward and wrapped Kara in a hug “Thank you for telling me Kara. It means a lot. And thank you for coming after me. I just have a lot to take in, maybe we can talk about it later?”

She turned the faucet on, splashing cold water in her face “But now I’ll better get going to the lab, don’t want to let your girlfriend wait”, she grinned cheekily at Kara, smiling at the reaction her words had caused. The Kryptonians face was really challenging her cape to match its color by now, eyes jumping out of their sockets, bottom lip between her teeth, before she stuttered for words, nodding and taking a deep breath. 

“I’ll take you there”, she then spoke more composedly.

“I wouldn’t have thought otherwise”, Alex nodded, already opening the door to walk down the hallway to the labs.

***

Lena was already sitting at one of the not broken tables. The lab was a little more cleaned compared to friday, but the chaos and reminders of the explosion were still evident.

“Good morning Alex, Supergirl”, she nodded before being wrapped in a hug by a speeding Kryptonian.

“I take it you told her?” Lena smiled at the blonde before being lifted off of the ground and spun around while Kara pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

Alex eyed the couple with a raised eyebrow, barely withholding a grin “Yeah, she told me. And as I am her sister for now I have to tell you to never hurt her or I will throw you into space on her behalf”, she then smirked devilishly, basking in the sight of Lena’s shorly shocked face.

“Alex!”, Kara voiced loudly, pouting with the corners of her mouth turned upwards.

Lena simply stroked over her skirt to get any crinkles out which Kara’s spinning could possibly have left in the fabric “Thank you for taking Alex to the labs darling, I’m going to keep you updated on our works. We can meet for lunch if you like” Lena spoke to Kara, a flirtatious hint in her voice. Kara sadly nodded and made her way back to the control room, patting Alex’s shoulder once as she passed her in the door frame.

The Redhead walked closer to Lena, eyes still darting around the room, staying glued to the shattered portal pieces she had held in her hands a few days before. She could already feel her heart clench in her chest. But she hadn’t been trained as an agent for nothing. Even though her insides were screaming at the sight, her appearance remained calm. And so she looked over at Lena “Made some plans yet?”

Lena tapped at the space on the table next to her “Sit down, I think we need to talk”, her voice was as firm as always but ever since arriving on this world, Alex noticed a friendly note in the way Lena spoke that she had never heard before.

As soon as Alex sat next to the dark haired woman, hands folded in her lap and feet dangling a few inches above the ground, Lena had placed a hand on Alex's knee. Reassuring warmth spreading across her leg. 

“I saw the footage”, Lena started after taking a deep breath “You’ve been in here on friday. I don’t know how you got access to the lab but I do understand why you didn’t tell me or one of the others”   
  
Alex felt like her gulp could be heard all across the room “The password is the same as in my lab. It’s Kara’s birthday”, she smiled. It wasn’t the safest but much to her surprise, nobody had found out so far. “I wanted to have one weekend before hell would break loose and to be honest, I really wanted to get drunk on game night to forget it all. Yet after everything you have told me, I don’t think that I will ever want to get drunk again ”, rubbing her palm over her eyes, she looked back at the portal pieces.

“Oh. Hell won’t break loose, darling. Now do me a favor and breath slowly so your heartbeat will not alert one of the two overprotective Kryptonians that huddle around you”, Lena expressed “I do have a plan”

Biting her lip Alex nodded “I’m all ears”. Taking deep breaths she sealed the rising panic away.

Lena inhaled deeply. “So, I looked around the lab and checked the portal and what can I say. I don’t think that we will be able to get you home anytime soon”, her eyes glued to the wall opposite them she silently added “or at all” with another sight. 

Alex felt her breath hitch but smiled at Lena’s hand which slowly started to stroke over the agent's knee. Concentrating on her breath again she motioned to the CEO to continue.

“We will stick to the plan of not raising suspicions. We will be here everyday and tinker with the portal. We might even come to a solution by accident. Or we invent something new while we’re at it”   
  
Alex jumped up and started to pace, her calmth fading away little by little “How long do you plan on doing that?”

“At least until new years”

“What?”, Alex shrieked, panic now being written all over her face “You have to be kidding me! There is no way Sam would be up to that for, what..another seven weeks?” Already visualizing the deadly glare she had received more than once she shuddered.

The Luthor’s laugh was echoing through the room “Oh honey, of course we won’t tell them.” shaking her head with an amused grin she continued “ Please don’t look at me as if I have lost my mind Alex. All I’m asking for is seven weeks. Whether you want it or not, you are stuck here. So I will give you seven weeks to get to know us, us to get to know you. I would lie to say that I am not heartbroken because I have just lost my best friend but I feel like it will hurt less for all of us if we keep on having each other”

Sighing heavily again Alex looked back at Lena “Are you sure that’s the best? I mean..Not only would I lie to everyone..but I would make you lie as well. To Sam, oh god you would lie to Kara”, waving her hands around her voice grew louder “You can’t lie to her! You’re her girlfriend!”, she voiced before curiously adding “I still need to know how that happened by the way”   
  
“Look”, Lena stood, slowly pacing closer towards the angry redhead “It’s not lying, it’s just hiding the truth. I think she will forgive me considering how long she didn’t tell me she was supergirl”, she then grinned.

“You are really sure about that, are you?”, Alex asked frowning “I already had my suspicions about the portal and my slim chances of going back but hearing it out loud..god, what should I do now?”

Placing a hand on Alex’s arm Lena looked up the taller woman “For now, you’ll try to stay calm and fit yourself into this chaos. We have seven weeks to figure out how you want to continue”   
  
Wow. This Lena really was different than the cold blooded million dollar CEO Alex knew. Or maybe she wasn’t. Because the only person she would let close to her was Kara. Her Kara, back on Earth-38, not knowing where her sister was or if she was healthy and safe. Not knowing if she will ever see her again.

And then it hit her. The same feeling that she had faced on friday crept all over her again. Shaking in panic, tears flooded down her cheeks again, a voiceless scream leaving her mouth as she stumbled back to the desk, grasping for something to hold onto before she decided to slide down next to it. No training could help her stay calm at this devastating truth. Sobs started to rock through her body as she gasped for air between wiping the tears away with her sleeves.   
  
She was stuck here. She would never see her sister again. Or her mother. Or the woman she loved. But she had to look in their faces and pretend everything would be alright. Another scream shook her body as she pulled her knees up to hide her face behind them.

Lena was still standing in the middle of the room, panicking as she looked at the agent which slowly broke down in front of her eyes. “Alex…”

Suddenly the doors burst open, papers flying around as a darkly clad whirlwind entered the room, looking around full of worry.

“Today has been a lot for her”, Lena softly spoke to Reign who now stood there like a lost puppy, looking down at the shaking redhead. Taking in a deep breath to hold her powers at bay, she crouched down next to Alex, reaching out to comfort her.

"Don't touch me!", Alex screamed, tears running down her face as she slapped the outstretched hand away. Just a heartbeat later her eyes widened in shock “Reign..I..I didn’t...I…”. 

She heard the wood break as Reign grabbed the desks surface to let out some anger. Groaning loudly, Alex rolled up on the floor, still shaking, grasping for breath more and more as neverending tears escaped her eyes like watery crystals.

“What’s going on - Alex!”, she heard Kara’s voice. It suddenly felt as if she was underwater, her ears started to ring and all the sounds around her seemed to be muffled, drowned out by the fear that was bubbling out of her.

As soon as she felt herself enveloped in the arms of her sister the world stopped turning. She was so, so tired, it felt like she had cried for an eternity as her breaths slowly evened out and she fell into a peaceful slumber, safely wrapped in Kara’s arms.

***

Alex woke to Azul snuggling his fuzzy head against her cheek. She felt a pillow under her head and a blanket tight around her body. Muffled voices could be heard from the living room.

“I feel so sorry for her. We only thought about what we wanted and treated her like the villain who has to obey our orders. She had already cried this morning after we entered the DEO, I shouldn’t have listened to her saying that she was feeling fine”, Kara furiously stated “I had a great time with her. She just doesn’t deserve this..”   
  
“It’s rough on all of us”, Sam stated “But it’s true that I was kind of hard on her… Reign talked to me all day about it yesterday”, she sighed “I am hurt. We all are. But she has lost more than we’re able to imagine”

“We decided to try to repair the portal, but honestly…”, Lena paced around the room, heels clicking over the wooden floor “It is not looking good. We will be trying our best and I am running some tests that could be promising but we won’t know for sure until the start of the new year”, rubbing her palm over her eyes she let her shoulders slump down a little. That wasn’t at all what she had wanted to say. She wanted to leave the others in the dark so they wouldn’t worry. But she completely understood why Alex panicked at her proposal. She just wished that it would not have happened.

“That's…” Kara started,   
  
“...a long time” Sam finished.

Lena just nodded “But you know...I do miss Alex. Our Alex. Terribly. But having her here...it doesn’t feel as wrong as I feel that it should”   
  
Kara joined on the nodding, leaning back into the sofa cushions “I know what you mean. I have lost my sister...but it still feels like I have a sister here. A new one. Though it doesn’t feel new to me at all”   
  
Frowning at that Sam crossed her arms “I get what you mean...but..I don’t like it. I don’t want to like it. I don’t want to like her!”  
  
“But you do” Reign’s voice echoed through the room, much to everyone's surprise. Including Sam who now sat on the sofa wide eyed, slapping a hand over her mouth.

Alex softly chuckled as she entered the living room on shaky legs “it’s good to know that you don’t actually want to kill me Sam”

Three pairs of eyes were now glued to her frame “I’m not a ghost, you know. You don’t have to stare at me like that”, leaning at the door frame for support she continued grinning, her eyes darting from Sam to Lena and lastly to Kara.

Lena was the first to break the silence. “How are you feeling?”   
  
“I think I’m fine. It was a lot to take in and I suddenly remembered my family. I terribly miss them”, Alex heavily exhaled “but I also feel some sort of odd connection towards you all. I still wish to be back. But it’s nice to not feel alone and to know that you do not hate me for being here” she kept on grinning, her insides spinning full of nervosity as she glanced towards the ground “I am sorry that I made you worry. I shouldn’t do that”   
  
A murmur of “Alex” went through the room, heads were shaken and the floorboards creaked under the pressure of Kara’s steps. Seconds later Alex felt herself being wrapped in Kara’s arms again.

“Silly. Of course we worry”, Kara softly whispered, hugging the redhead a little tighter “I can stay with you if you want? You don’t have to be alone”   
  
Alex gently shook her head “No..I’m fine..I don’t want to keep you away from work”   
  
“You’re more important than work”, Sam groaned much to Alex’s surprise. “What? You already heard that I don’t hate you, I might even say that your well being is more important work now. Even if that is mostly fuelled by Reign’s demand”, she softly smiled

“Reign!”, Alex almost screamed in shock “Oh my god, I shoved her away when she tried to calm me! Is she alright?”

Sam’s posture straightened as she exhaled a long breath. Her hands immediately tangled in her hair to turn it into a ponytail. “I suffered no harm Alexandra, do not worry”, Reign smiled at her “I am beyond relieved that you are feeling better now”   
  
A wide smile spread across Alex’s lips as relief settled in her stomach. She couldn’t bear the thought of scaring Reign off again. Being confirmed in her thoughts of not being able to go home she could see herself forming a friendship with the former worldkiller. Her story intrigued her and she knew that the Kryptonian had a good heart. While she could see herself befriending Lena, Kara and apparently also Sam the thought of deepening her relationship with Reign made her feel all kinds of excitement.

“You still shouldn’t stay alone, Alex”, Kara’s voice broke her out of her thoughts “How about you choose who stays with you today and then we’ll be taking turns the next days so we can learn how to be around each other.”   
  
Her mouth already open to protest she was silenced by Reign’s raised hand “I agree with Kara. Your wellbeing is a priority to me so I will gladly offer my company to you”   
  
“We surely can ask the DEO for us to work on the portal until lunch and take the rest of the day off. We can show you around, keep you updated on general world knowledge, maybe even have some fun. It will help us all to clear our heads and none of us will be alone should one suddenly suffer through a breakdown”, Lena interjected, voice firm, posture straight, showing that she would not accept any answer apart from an agreement.

“I guess.” Alex shrugged frowning. All she wanted to do was disappear right this second. She did not want to be a burden, to change the schedule of everyone, to have such a big effect on their lives. But she also guessed that there was no way around it. She knew her friends. And their counterparts were all so similar in their stubbornness. 

Looking around she scratched her chin, pondering who should stay with her today. She’d love to build a more sisterly relationship with Kara, ask a thousand questions about her date with Lena. But she would also love to get to know Reign more, she still didn’t know how the worldkiller got hurt a while ago and she was all too curious about her bonding with Sam. Sam was also an option for the company, she had voiced that she didn’t detest Alex as much as she had thought and she might even understand some of her feelings the most. 

Lastly there was Lena, who had made a hell of a plan this morning and who had probably planned a lot more than what she had said before the panic attack. 

“Lena?”, she finally asked “Can you stay with me today? You can figure out your ‘watching Alex’ schedule later”, she spoke, rolling her eyes and forming quotation marks with her fingers at the ‘watching Alex’ part. “But I’d really like to know more about the ..tests..you’re running”

Nodding, Lena took a seat at the now empty sofa “Sure. That way we can still work a little and won’t feel completely useless, right?”  
  
Alex grinned at that. Lena knew her well.

“You sure?”, Kara asked full of worry, eyes darting between Alex and Lena.   
  
“Darling”, Lena sighed “I can promise you that nothing will happen. At any signs of panic I will just change the topic”. Now it was Lena rolling her eyes.

Reign seemingly decided to take the matter into her own hands and simply picked up Kara, throwing her over her shoulder. Much to Alex’s amusal, Kara seemed to wobble around but not to use any strength to get out of the other Kryptonians' grip. “I will drop her at CatCo and then make my way back to L-Corp so Samantha can continue working for today. I will see you soon Alexandra”, Reign smiled at her. “Lena”, she nodded, before she jumped out of the window and took off, wobbling Kara helplessly flailing around.

***

After standing in the living room, unsure of what to do Alex had decided to brew two cups of coffee and then sit on the sofa next to Lena. She had pulled her legs up and cuddled into the sofas corner.

This had happened ten minutes ago and now both women were looking at each other unsure how to proceed.

“So you told them after all, huh?”, Alex broke the silence, raising one eyebrow at Lena.   
  
“Not fully. But I couldn’t leave them in the dark completely, you were right on that”, she sighed “I somehow had to explain the reason for your breakdown, darling.”

A faint laugh escaped Alex’s lips “I’m sorry, I’m just wondering if I will ever get used to that”   
  
Lena frowned in confusion “To what exactly?”   
  
“To you calling me darling”; Alex answered, still grinning “Back on my earth the only one you would call that was Kara. Well, maybe Sam as well. But me? Never happened”

Lena’s mouth formed a perfect o shape as her eyes wandered over Alex’s face.

“Could you tell me a little? About your world...about..Kara on your world..”; Lena spoke, curiosity thick in her voice “But, but you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable”. Her cheeks began to flush and Alex had to grin at the Luthor. She had never seen Lena like this. Legs tugged unter herself while she cozily sat on her sofa, hands clasped around a steaming mug of coffee, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling with curiosity. As odd as it sounded but it was kind of an adorable sight.

“Sure.”, Alex nodded “But only if you return the favor and tell me a little about you and Kara”, a devilish smirk spread across her lips. She knew she would get her curiosity fed once she had a chance to talk to Kara, but why wait if she could figure it out now.

Lena just nodded while drowning a big swing of her coffee and waved at Alex to start talking.

“Fine. So on my earth Kara is your best friend, I might have told you that already. When Kara told me this morning that the both of you are a couple a lot of it made sense. I would have never guessed it though.”, she also sipped her coffee “Back on my earth it was normal for you to stay after game night, to share clothes, to buy each other presents. You and Kara spent almost every waking second together on my earth. She’s not very different to how she’s here though. Always the sunshiney puppy” Alex chuckled “You’re a lot colder though. A lot more firm and moody. At least to me. Kara always said that you were adorable and funny but I never understood where she saw that.”   
  
Now that she connected the dots between this world and her own. Could it be that Kara or Lena had feelings for the other? No. She would have noticed. She was good at noticing things like that.

“How did we meet there?”, Lena proceeded to ask.

“Oh uh. Kara accompanied Clark for an interview once you moved to National City. I don’t really know everything that has happened but you quickly became friends, she fought a lot for me to accept you. I was… not very trusting considering your last name I must say.. I still feel bad about it. But your family has quite the bad history with supers on my earth”, scratching her neck Alex looked at Lena “It’s your turn now”

Placing her mug on the table Lena smiled “That is a lot more different than I thought. It’s true that I only met Kara once I had moved to National City, but I have been friends with Alex long before. We had met at a science fair during freshman year of college and we somehow became pen pals after that, meeting at science fairs one a year. I knew she had a sister and apart from the usual complaints she spoke very fondly of Kara but at science fairs it was just her and me”, sad eyes wandered across the room and stayed glued to the pictures on the wall “in the end it was her who had to encourage me to even move here. Apart from your Lena I never had trust issues with anyone. It is widely known that I helped to get my brother arrested before he could kill dozens of people or even a super.”

Alex swallowed. That was a deeply formed friendship Lena had with her otherworldly part. And also a very interesting information regarding the Luthor’s family.

“Why aren’t you more devastated at Alex being stuck in my world? Hell, I never had a friend like that and I still can’t imagine the feeling of losing it”, she exclaimed shocked. 

“I just believe that everything happens for a reason. And I know that if we won’t find a way to repair the portal, she will find one. Someday.”, Lena shrugged “Also maybe the universe just wanted me to be a friend for someone who never had one”, winking at Alex she took her mug again “Of course I’m missing her. It really hurts. But as I said before, I feel oddly connected to you ...and Alex? I would love to be your friend”

Tiny happy tears left Alex’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She felt accepted. Almost more than she ever had. She had always been the one taking care, standing on the sidelines, watching over Kara and pushing all of her social bubble away except for the people she worked with. The people that were Kara’s friends. Sure, she had Maggie for a while and that didn’t work out to completely unrelated issues, but even Maggie was stuck in the alien mess and had to prioritize Kara more than once. Then she had Sam, who also was more her friend than Kara’s. But she was mostly Lena’s friend and she had cut ties with her as well.

Of course she knew that her friends back home cared. But she could not remember ever feeling so loved for who she was as today. Everyone had dropped their occupation to be at her side. Everyone was worried just because she had cried a little. Fine. Cried a lot. They wanted to get to know her and be her friends. It felt too good to be true.

Sniffling she fumbled with the arms of her jumper to wipe her tears away, only then noticing that Lena looked at her flabbergasted.

“I’m fine...just...just happy I guess”, wiping the tears again she smiled widely “Just...I never really had that, you know? Kara has always been the center of everything. I never even spared a thought of wanting to have a piece of the attention. But it feels nice. Really nice. And honestly a little overwhelming”

Lena shifted in her seat, slowly scooting closer to Alex to wrap her in a hug “We’re all equal here. You’re just as important as everyone else. You’re new here, but you’re part of the group, darling”, she smiled, emphasizing the ‘darling’ with a smirk.

Yes. Alex could accept this world with her new found friends as her new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will have less tears!  
> Do you like the preview sentence idea?
> 
> Preview sentence:  
> "Ugh, I can't believe other me liked this", Alex groaned loudly "I would rather visit hell than spend a minute longer at his place"


	7. Seeking Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is having an important conversation with Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while... I'm so sorry... but life had other plans that did not contain writing and for a while I was so stressed out about it that I ended up suffering writers block.
> 
> But the chapter is there, the fic is not dead!  
> And thank you so so so much for the 100 Kudos we hit in my hiatus!
> 
> Enjoy!

Alex had spent the afternoon rewatching the first two Harry Potter movies with Lena. Now, they were sitting at the dining table, a big plate of the best takeout curry in the entire universe ready to be eaten right in front of Alex.

“Now that it’s clear that I’m staying here, I should come up with a better shovel talk than to throw you into space”, Alex mumbled while chewing on some carrot slices “But on the other hand...I don’t really know what’s worse than to be thrown into space”, she shrugged.

Lena smiled back at the redhead and after swallowing a spoonful of rice, she proceeded to answer “No need for more shovel talk, darling. I’m helplessly in love with Kara”, a soft blush spread across her cheeks “relationships haven’t exactly been easy on my part and I honestly still don’t get what she’s seeing in me, but.. I’m happy. She makes me happy. And I plan on making her happy as well. For as long as I live”   
  
Eyes wide in shock, mouth slightly opened Alex gaped at Lena. Sure, she had hoped that Lena wasn’t meaning any harm and had all the best intentions. But love was something she hadn’t really thought about.

“That….that’s good then”, she stuttered out before stuffing another spoonful of curry in her mouth.

“What about you? Any relationships going on in your life?”, Lena asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity again.

“No. Sadly relationships haven’t been easy on me either. Hell. I only really had one and that one I almost had married”, Alex chuckled darkly.

Lena leaned back in her chair comfortably after having finished her much smaller portion of curry. “Care to tell me more about it? It must’ve been pretty intense if you had almost gotten married, who was the woman stealing agent Danvers' heart away?”

Pushing her curry from one side to the other on her plate Alex nodded. “Maggie. She’s been the one who made me realize that I wasn’t as straight as I had thought...or as broken as I had concluded. I think she’s the first person I ever truly loved. But I told her that I wanted a family. Children. To be a mother. She never wanted that. Couldn’t see herself ever having a family”, Alex audibly swallowed “So I broke it off. We got drunk with the booze we got gifted for the upcoming wedding and then she moved away shortly afterwards”

Now it was Lena who was looking at Alex wide eyed “Maggie? As in the tiny detective dimples?”, she laughed “I’m sorry but that’s too funny. She hooked up with Alex once or 

twice after Alex had come back from rehab. In the end Alex broke it off because she deemed dimples to be clingy and not healthy to be around, though it probably was Alex being scared to open up to somebody. Dimples seems to have found love in Gotham City by now”

“At least this universe seems to be lucky with love”, Alex murmured while continuing to push her curry around. At least for everyone but herself. Sighing, she decided that she could eat the leftover curry for dinner tomorrow, that way she had at least a little joy to look forward to when coming home.

“Maybe you’re going to be lucky as well then”, Lena grinned while standing up and moving the dishes to the sink “I know it’s probably not something you want to look for so soon, but it might do you good. Just being in love is so much happiness already”   
  
Frowning Alex moved to the kitchen area as well, silently sighing “Yeah….it might” before she grasped Lena by her shoulders and looked her firm in the eyes, concealing all her sadness with one blink. “And because love is so wonderful you should move your ass out of my apartment and knock at your girlfriend's door”

“You sure you’re okay?”; Lena asked while already being pushed towards the door by the nodding redhead.

“Yes. I just want to sleep, see you tomorrow at work. We could start by properly cleaning up the lab so please don’t dress all fancy for that”, Alex grinned, pushing Lena’s jacket and purse into her arms and closing the door behind the very baffled CEO.

***

Just like Alex had planned she spent the whole morning cleaning up her DEO lab with Lena. The lab was shining, tables were rearranged and tools neatly sorted into their respective containers. Chippings of wood and metal stuck to their clothes and both women were happy when lunch break signaled the end of their day.

“God, I really need a shower before I can make my way over to CatCo”, Lena groaned, plucking a wooden shard out of her hair. She was dressed in light blue jeans, white sneakers and a black long sleeve shirt, looking nothing like the CEO she was and more like an ordinary woman at work.

“I really hope Kara hasn’t planned on anything for today. I just want a shower, comfy clothes and my leftover curry”, Alex laughed.

And as if she had summoned the Kryptonian, Kara appeared in the lab’s entrance.

Much to her dismay, Kara hadn’t planned on going back home soon at all. She had quickly blown off some dust of Alex’s clothes and taken her for a fly around National City. She had shown her the CatCo and L-Corp towers, which were actually located at different places than on her earth and they also took a glance at Sam picking up Ruby from school.

Alex's heart had crumbled a bit under the thought that they had yet to tell Ruby the news and that the teenager would throw a whole new wave of sadness over the group. She really had to talk to Sam about it. She didn’t want to make her lie to her daughter for almost two months just to find out that spilling it was inevitable.

Lastly they had strolled through the park, eating ice cream from what Kara named “the best place in town” and finally went back home after the sun started to set. Alex was tired, there was no way denying it. But she was grateful for the distraction and also for the new information she had gathered of this world.

“Thank you for the day, Kara. I had a lot of fun and the ice cream was amazing”, Alex gushed, already craving another scoop of chocolate fudge ice cream. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then”, Kara smiled “I’ll be taking you to the DEO from now on, it’s just easier that way and Sam won’t have to rush for her meetings anymore. Call me if you need me though, I’m right here and even if you just happen to run against a door and want to whine about it. I’m right here”

A genuine smile spread across Alex’s lips “I will take you up on that”, she grinned “but I’m also here, you know. Always”. She wrapped her somehow-sister into a hug before opening her door “Good night, Kara” she smiled before closing said door behind herself, slowly sliding down against it. It has been a long day and she was oh so exhausted.

Azul jumped on her lap and she spent almost half an hour sitting on the floor, softly rubbing the cat’s belly. “You’re also always there for me, huh?”, she cooed, nuzzling her nose against the soft fur. “It’s Sam’s turn tomorrow. I really wonder what we will be doing. Maybe we will talk about Thanksgiving, I could ask her what to wear, what do you think, Azul? I should also really talk to her about Ruby, she must be wondering why she isn’t seeing me anymore, but she also hasn’t texted me since I woke up” Alex muttered wondering “Maybe she has already told the kiddo. You will cheer me up if Ruby hates me, right?”. 

She really hoped that Ruby wouldn’t hate her.

After finally standing up she poured cat food into Azul’s checkered bowl and filled his water again. She re-heated her curry, suddenly very happy that she didn’t eat more of that incredible ice cream and enjoyed a plate of her new favorite food. 

Padding into her bedroom she grabbed her pyjamas and a change of underwear and went into the bathroom, finally able to shower all the dirt off of her body. Kara had made a good job by blowing off most of the chipples but she still found a few tiny metal shards stuck in her hair. She had felt bad using anything in this apartment more than she deemed necessary because it wasn’t her own. But the thought of accepting it actually being her own settled in more and more. That’s why she took her time, taking a long warm shower to let her muscles relax under the temperature before getting dressed. 

This was her life now. So it was also her income and her apartment. She could take long showers once in a while, because it was her money she had to pay the water bills with.

***

The next morning rolled around way too soon. Alex kept yawning while drowning her coffee, but once the cold November air hit her face she was feeling awake again.   
  
She had disassembled the remaining portal pieces and sorted the different parts in small containers, while Lena took notes, sketching the pieces onto a sheet of paper perfectly. They had decided to at least appear as if they would be working on the portal, but spent the morning chatting about their favorite foods and favorite things to do. Getting to know each other one step at the time.

Alex could see why Lena was her counterpart's best friend. She was a joy to be around, they shared values and interests and when lunchtime came around they had already decided to visit a science fair mid december.

While Lena was out of the lab within seconds, rushing to get to a meeting at CatCo, Alex stayed behind to clean up for the day. Just as she locked the drawer with the disassembled portal pieces she heard a knock on the door.

Turning around she was greeted by a smiling Sam “Hey Alex”, she quickly glanced around, slumping her shoulders in relief as no other agent seemed to be around.   
  
“Hey”, Alex answered, still a little unsure on how to behave around the brunette “Do you have anything planned for today or can I wish to just spend time at home talking. Or not talking if you don’t want to. We can watch a show or a movie. Or...not do anything at all really..”, she rambled, internally rolling her eyes at herself. Why had she had to be so fidgety around her. She really didn’t like it. She didn’t like it one bit.   
  
Leaning her head against the doorframe Sam flashed another small smile at the agent. “I’d like to talk, yes. I feel like there is quite a lot of talking to be done and.. I should apologize about how I treated you. It wasn’t fair of me at all. But I have been hurt to an extent that I was blinded by it. I’d like to make it up to you by treating you to lunch, though considering you don’t know any food places around here I already got some tacos to eat, so we should probably hurry before they’re getting cold”, she calmly spoke, making Alex wonder how she could be this calm when she looked like she wanted to murder her only a few days ago. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Sam," Alex sighed softly. “But I gladly take the lunch anyways”, she grinned. Straightening her posture for courage and also because she would have to leave the lab to walk past several other DEO agents, which still made her slightly nervous, she walked towards Sam and took the hand the brunette offered her. And it felt just so good and so right, but oh so wrong at the same time.

They quickly made their way towards Sam’s car, much to both of their relief not stumbling into any of Alex’s talkative colleagues today. The car ride was spent in mutual silence, the radio blasting a pop song Alex had never heard of. Which probably wasn’t the fault of the different universe but more due to the fact that Alex just didn’t listen to any pop songs if she didn’t have to.

After arriving at home they happily devoured the chicken and spinach tacos Sam had bought in equal silence, before moving to sit on the sofa, both a steaming cup of coffee between their hands.

“So…”, Alex started “I know this all isn’t turning out as we had imagined and I think that we...or you...should tell Ruby about it. It isn’t fair to keep it from her. I don’t know your Ruby but the one in my world was smart and clever and wonderful and already had to go through so much more than a child at her age should suffer through. I don’t want to lie to her, Sam”. Too afraid to look into the other woman's eyes, Alex proceeded to stare into her coffee. It just wouldn’t be right to hold it in, lying to her. It was written in the stars that if she would ever be able to switch back, it would be a terribly long time of lying to the girl. And the hopes of meeting her, having fun with Ruby again. It made Alex’s heart ache in a completely different way as it did when she thought about spending time with everyone else. 

Sam swallowed audibly, followed by a deep sigh. “She knows, Alex. Ruby knows”. Placing her cup on the coffee table before turning around to face the obviously anxious agent her face softened. “I couldn’t lie to her. It isn’t fair, you’re right. But I had planned to wait to tell her. But you’re also right with her being incredibly smart” Sam chuckled “She figured out something was wrong the first day you told us that you’ve got switched with my..our… this world’s Alex.”   
  
Now it was Alex who placed her mug down, turning her body to face Sam with a raised eyebrow, tucking her legs under her body. 

“I was...not in a good condition that day. I fought with Reign like I had never fought with her before. It is easy to shift control for us, you must know. It’s a mutual agreement to swap at that moment. At least that’s usually the case. But that day I just didn’t want to be in control but also not give it up to her. So after Ruby’s bedtime I tried to drown my sorrows in wine to forget. To let loose. But Reign, always the protector, wasn’t too fond of the idea of having to witness myself getting wasted on some cheap boxed red wine”, shaking her head shortly she grinned “or any alcohol at all probably. So she fought for control, pushing my mind in the back of our shared consciousness over and over again. At some point we must’ve stopped shouting at each other in our head but actually verbally screamed at each other. Things I want to spare you of”, she quickly interjected “But we were loud and so we woke Ruby with our, definitely not child friendly, accusations and cries. I couldn’t just lie to her then, Alex. I couldn’t. Not after she heard me cry out your name in despair and hatred several times”

Fiddling with the fringes of one of her sofa pillows Alex nodded “That’s… that’s good then..”. Sure, she had hoped to tell Ruby in peace, maybe be there to answer questions the teen would have. Hell, even to be punched if that would help her to accept the fate that was unwantedly pushed onto her young shoulders. 

“She’ll be attending the Gala on Thanksgiving actually. She’s also looking forward to formally meeting you. She’s been pondering me with questions the whole time, bonding with Reign over the fact that this is all very exciting and very fascinating” a huge grin, that could only be described as cheeky, spread across her face all the way to her eyes “Why, oh really, Reign you never had said that? I can remember hearing very frequently how exciting it is to be spending time with Alex and how much you want to befriend her”. A low and echoing growl, clearly belonging to Reign, escaped Sam’s mouth, followed by Sam’s cheerful laughter.   
  
Alex stared at her lap blushing, her heart hammering in her chest. Why? She didn’t really know, but the thought of regularly being on Reign’s mind, making her want to spend time with her. For reasons still unknown to her it made her all happy and giddy. Probably nervous, excited and anxious in equal parts as well, but it felt all soft and warm and fuzzy. Also Ruby wanted to meet her and she wasn’t scared or mad, but excited and curious! That was better than Alex could ever have hoped for. Terrifying but wonderful.   
  
Moving back from the topic that made her heart race uncomfortably in her chest she cleared her throat “The gala is another topic I wanted to talk to you about. I would like to know what to wear. See if I have anything fitting or if I have to buy something for it. I wouldn’t want to look out of place or make a bad impression while standing at your side”   
  
Scratching her cheek Alex wondered if Reign could hear her heartbeat. Concluding that she probably could, considering that she had always listened out for it. A weirdly intimate gesture between complete strangers which both hoped to grow closer someday. The thought calmed her and made her race even more. Befriending the worldkiller apparently still shook her to the core in some ways.   
  
“The gala has a black and white theme. Boring and ordinary, I know” Sam groaned “but it’s a classic and at least the men are fitting the theme anyways and won’t complain to go out of their way to match any other”, she rolled her eyes before emptying her coffee “I’m not sure if your closet is holding anything matching the occasion but we’ll go through it, the afternoon is still young. Oh. Right. You’ll be wearing a dress. Reign hates them and that’s why I’ll be wearing a suit. I’m already having matching jewelry for us at home so we have to keep that in mind when deciding on a dress”   
  
Without waiting for Alex to answer, the brunette stood and moved towards the closet, having shoved around three hangers with dresses before Alex made it to the bedroom as well.   
  
In total they found one white sundress, one black dress which was by far too short and too revealing for a gala and made both women blush and cough for a second and one simple long black dress with a broken zipper.   
  
“Those won’t do, I’m sorry Alex but you will have to go and buy a new one”, Sam sighed, flopping down on the bed behind her.

That was definitely not how Alex had imagined to see Sam in her bed for the first time.  
  
Sighing as well, Alex sat down next to her.   
  
No, definitely not how she had imagined. Swallowing the sadness that slowly crept up her throat she stared at her still open closet.   
  
“Will you at least help me pick a dress? I hate to go shopping for clothes”, she whined “It’s boring and the employees are always pushy to make you buy something even if you’re looking horrible wearing it”   
  
Shaking her head Sam carefully placed a hand on Alex’s arm, who was barely able to contain a flinch. “Sorry, I’m crammed at work, so Reign is also out of question as..you know..I can’t just let her get somewhere. You could ask Lena if she’s willing to help you. She knows the bar a dress should hold for the gala and also the jewelry I have at home. I’m truly sorry I won’t be able to help, but with the gala coming up. It’s a lot honestly, I am barely resting at all”   
  
Feeling guilty about taking up so much of Sam’s time Alex focuses her glance on the folded pants in her closet. “I’m sorry I’m holding you up. You should go home and spend the remaining day with Ruby. Or put your feet up and watch a movie. You took the afternoon off and you shouldn’t be spending it with me, Sam, if you really get as little time off as you just admitted” jumping up, Alex grabbed both of Sam’s hands to pull her up to her feet “I’m going to write Lena if she’ll help me pick a dress tomorrow after work and then I’ll cuddle up with Azul and continue the Harry Potter marathon I started a few days ago. I’ll be alright”

Looking the redhead up and down from head to toe Sam nodded. “Thank you, Alex. If you need me, well, you know how to reach me”, wrapping Alex in an awkward hug she whispered next to her ear “I’ll still be able to rest if you want to chat with Reign over the phone. Just thought I should tell you.”, moving closer to the door she grinned “But please don’t keep her up all night”   
With that she was gone, leaving a speechless Alex standing in the living room looking at the door, still standing in the position she held when Sam had hugged her. The smell of honey and something faintly similar to charcoal had filled her nostrils while perfectly shiny and soft brown hair had tickled her cheek. Sam smelled differently than Alex remembered, but that didn’t change the fluttering in her chest one bit. No, she definitely wasn’t over her at all.   
  
Groaning she flopped down onto her sofa, already fishing for her phone on the coffee table to write Lena.   
  
Because she really needed to get her mind away from the imagination of Sam in a suit.

  
  


***

  
  


Of course Lena had agreed on going to go shopping the next day. After Alex read the Luthor's message with more than one exclamation mark she was not able to hold in a groan. Lena liked shopping. And she was excited to go shopping with Alex. She had probably done that a dozen times with other-Alex, because looking at the clothes she wore according to her closet, it didn’t look like buying the first black item that comes into view at all.

It was now quarter past eight and Alex was munching on some tomato pieces she had added into her salad. A salad didn’t require any cooking so it was easy enough to do for a person that can’t cook. Or so she thought. The dressing wasn’t very good, the taste of vinegar quite strong, but it was bearable enough to eat it instead of wasting the food and throwing it away.   
  
Sam’s words about chatting with Reign still swirled through her head and within a few very courageous seconds she wrote;   
  
**Agent Alex:**   
So.. Sam said that you’re excited to get to know me?   
  
Her focus changed to the vinegar drenched salad again, there was no turning back now, the message was sent and Reign would probably be answering within the next few minutes. Was it too cheeky? They didn’t really know each other yet, was it okay to already write like this? How long did you have to know somebody until friendly banter was appropriate? Of course Alex had never spent a second thought about it, but now it made her worry.   
  
Apparently it was not inappropriate at all, because her phone began to light up before she could finish her last tomato piece.

**Sam 2.0:**   
I had not planned to have you know that but yes, the prospect of getting to know you is filling me with a lot of joy, Alexandra. I am saddened that I will not be able to spend time with you during the next few days but I am looking forward to seeing you again.

She could feel her face start to flush again, her heart picking up a similar pace to that it had in the afternoon. This time she started to take deep and steady breaths to calm herself down. Whatever it was that made her body react so… confused.. Reign was the last person that should know the effect she had on the agent.    
  
No, it wasn’t Reign’s doing. It had to be the new environment, the stress she tried to push away from having to pretend to be someone else, the overall happiness of being accepted. What if her body reacted to her being in the wrong universe? No, that couldn’t be. She should really check her vitals tomorrow, if only for an ease of mind.

**Agent Alex:**   
If Sam is too stressed about the gala we can’t help it. You will see me there, though I’m not sure If I will see you?

Finishing her salad Alex wondered how weird it would feel to share a body with another person, not being able to do what oneself wanted. Some part of her hoped that she would be able to see Reign at the gala. She still felt awkward around Sam, if she closed her eyes she could still feel the softness of her hand and the warmth of her hug on her skin. With Reign it was easy. Yes, she made her heart flutter with new sensations. But she only felt the same as Reign did. Excited and fascinated about the new possibilities.   
  
**Sam 2.0:**   
I will be switching with Sam throughout the night to give her some rest. I hope you will be saving a dance for me, Alexandra. I would feel honoured if you would do so.   
  
Smiling Alex typed her response.   
  
**Agent Alex:**

I’m already sorry for stepping on your feet, glad you’re Kryptonian.   
  
A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth as she placed her phone down and started to wash her dishes.   
  
She was looking forward to sharing a dance with a woman that wanted to kill her back home in her universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed, that the preview sentence is not featured in this chapter.  
> I wrote a lot more on certain parts than I had planned and so the chapter would have gotten too long.  
> So the last preview is now for the next chapter!


	8. Seeking Dresses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena go out to find a dress for the gala. There are a few happy tears at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been ages this time and I am so sorry. But life was keeping me busy and then I was listening to a lot of advice I shouldn't have listened to...and I just couldn't get myself to write anymore. But the chapter is here and it's finally at the point I've been looking forward to write since I started the story.  
> No promises this time, but I'll try my best to not make you wait ages again. I'm hoping for a chapter every two weeks someday.
> 
> Also you can still find me on twitter under @MaskedQuill

She had sent a “Can I wear dresses to work?” to Kara when picking out her next day's outfit before going to sleep. A dress seemed rather out of place for the DEO, but she would be spending her time in the lab. There wouldn’t be a lot of movement required and Lena was wearing dresses or skirts all the time. A dress seemed to be easiest for hours of shopping, considering it was only one item of clothes she would have to exchange regularly.   
  
Kara had answered that yes, of course a dress would be fine, her Alex was wearing them from time to time as well, so it wouldn’t be weird at all. Shaking her head, Alex had grinned. Because of course other-Alex had gone to work as an agent in a dress, when else would she have had time to wear all the dresses in her closet.   
  
And so Alex entered the DEO in thick black tights and a soft grey woolen dress the next morning. Kara rushed off as soon as they left the elevator because she had slept on a deadline for CatCo and confused Alex was greeted by an array of amused looks.   
  
“Can’t get alone to work anymore?”, one of the agents shot at her in a mocking tone.   
  
So today seemed to be the day she couldn’t hide away from interactions anymore. Thanks, Kara.

“You know how she can be”, Alex grinned rolling her eyes “But I can sleep a few minutes longer so I won’t complain” she shrugged, slowly walking in the direction of her lab.

“Anything planned for today? Haven’t seen you in a dress in a while”, the agent continued, eyeing her with curiosity. Were they friends? Had nobody informed her that she had friends amongst her co-workers??    
  
Smiling slightly she nodded “Going to go and buy a dress for that L-Corp gala after work. Thought it’s easiest to go in a dress, I already know I’ll be pulled through dozens of stores”, she grinned. Even though she dreaded to go shopping the evening before, she woke up rather excited and that feeling kept growing now that she thought about it again. She had a good time with Lena so far, so going to find a dress while talking about science didn’t feel as horrible anymore. So far she had to buy all of her fancy dresses alone, maybe with Kara in tow. But Lena knew which stores to go to and which dress would be appropriate for the occasion. It felt safe and a little stress free to think about.   
  
She managed to move away from the nosy agent and towards her lab after a little bit of small talk. Lena was waiting for her, sitting on a swivel chair, turning slowly from side to side while sipping her coffee, holding a second mug out to Alex.   
  
“Oh thank god, coffee”, she sighed, hurrying to the mug to take a huge sip “It’s way too early for smalltalk. Are all of the agents here so nosy? Nobody would talk to me before lunch at home”, rubbing her temples she sat down onto another chair, pulling out some papers onto her desk to at least appear as if she’s working.

“Some can be quite talkative, yes. They rarely talk to me though. I think I might either intimidate them or they just do not trust me”, Lena frowns “Or care. Alex used to ignore them sometimes, just stormed into her lab or wherever else she was needed that day. So if you’re really not up to talking to them, it won’t look different if you just walk past”, she smiled.   
  
That was incredibly good to know. Should Kara leave her at the elevator door again she could just go past and ignore all the small talk and the questions that could blow her cover entirely. Once she was behind the doors of her lab she would be safe.

Work paced on slowly, both of them brooding over ideas of things they could “accidentally” invent while fixing the portal. “What about a teleporter?”, Alex had asked at some point after the coffee machine and vacuum cleaner were denied by Lena. “One to port you somewhere in this world I mean”. Lena had frowned for a while, staring at the ceiling deep in thoughts “that might actually work. We could try a one mile radius at first, porting you somewhere in there. It could be really helpful for dangerous situations when someone has to flee. If this works it could save lives.”   
  
And so they sat together, trying to come up with an idea on how to break the portal technology down to be small enough to be carried around and to work as a teleportation device. When lunch time crept closer they collected all their notes, locking them away in case anyone would stumble upon them and got ready to leave for their real mission of the day.   
  
“We won’t be having lunch today”; Lena informed her while walking towards the elevators “Kara will meet us in the afternoon, so we can either go for something sweet by then or have an early dinner”   
  
Not having lunch seemed to be a good idea considering the fact that she would have to wear a dozen dresses in the next few hours, but her stomach was already rumbling and she cursed herself for not having eaten more this morning.

  
  


***

They arrived at the National City mall, located at a different place than Alex would have remembered and as soon as they were out of the car, Lena confidently steered into the direction of the upper class boutiques. That was something she hadn’t considered. The amount of money she would have to spend on the dress. Sure, she finally accepted that the money in her bank account actually is hers now, but she didn’t see it vanishing so soon.   
  
Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice how she followed the Luthor into the first store, standing awkwardly between racks of dresses until Lena shook her shoulder firmly. “Alex. I know this is probably a lot for you, but blanking out won’t make this all go by faster. Now, what do you think about this dress?”, it was black and slim, open at the back, going down to the ground, shining in the lights. It wasn’t bad. It was simple and elegant and...boring.   
  
“Sure...I guess?”, Alex voiced unsure, narrowing her eyes at the item “I can try it on”   
  
And so it went on and on and on. For several hours and in several stores. There were black dresses, white dresses, slim dresses, flowy dresses, long dresses and short dresses. And they were far more than a dozen.   
  
“I don't wanna try on more dresses Lena, I’m so hungry”, she whined, three dresses in her arms as the dark haired woman pushed her towards the changing room. The latter one smirked, jokingly sighing as if she was arguing with a child. “Fine. These three and then we’re heading towards someplace to eat. Kara should be on her way soon anyways” and pulled the changing room curtain close.   
  
Alex shrugged out of her woolen dress, still glad that she chose to wear it today and carefully stepped into another black dress. It was short, grazing the top of her knees, but the fabric was swiftly falling around her, swishing around as she moved. She didn’t like it. Pulling the curtain open she looked at Lena expectantly, only to be greeted with a wave of a hand to be signaled that this also, would not be her dress.   
  
The next one was white, going straight down to then fan out into a mermaid tail. The upper body part was sparkling with beads sewn onto the collar and it felt way too fancy for her. Stepping out of the changing room, uncertainty in her eyes, she saw Lena laughing at her. “Oh no, I thought it would look less… less like a wedding dress. I’m sorry, darling”. So Alex went back into the changing room, eyeing the last dress sceptically.   
  
It was cute, even though it showed a bit more cleavage than Alex usually liked. It was white, short sleeves made out of see-through ruffles were laced with a black lining. The same black lining was adorning her waist and the ruffles at the hem of the dress. It was short in the front, just a bit longer than mid-thigh and long in the back so it was grazing her calves. It looked...good on her. Turning around from side to side just slightly she watched the dress move in the mirror, hoping that Lena would deem it good enough on her. It was the first dress she liked today and she didn’t want to try on more.   
  
Opening the curtain again she spotted blonde hair right next to Lena. “Kara”, she smiled happily, looking at the women in front of her.   
  
Kara’s mouth fell open at the sight of Alex and Lena nodded approvingly, glancing down to her phone, grinning, for a second. “Oh wow”, Kara seemed to catch herself, closing her mouth again “Alex. You look stunning!”, she beamed at her, making Alex slightly nervous under their gazes.   
  
“So the dress hunting is finished? Yes?”, Alex stated more than she asked, already turning back to change out of the dress again.    
  
“The dress hunting yes”, Lena answered tentatively “But you still need shoes..and maybe a bag and a jacket”   
  
Opening the curtain again Alex groaned “How do you put up with that?”, her hand signing towards Kara “How does your Alex put up with that?”, she groaned again “This is torture!”   
  
Kara laughed beside her as they headed towards the counter, Lena plucking the dress out of her arms to quickly pay with her card.   
  
“Lena..what..?”, Alex stammered, looking at the Lutor open mouthed and wide eyed. But Lena just waved her hand dismissively “It’s an L-Corp gala, it won’t hurt L-Corps budget if it pays for your clothes, considering you have no choice but to attend”, she smiled, taking a step towards the door “And now we should eat something, I think your growling stomach already scared one of those annoyingly nice shopping assistants earlier”   
  
  


***

They went for dinner. It was almost 5pm and Kara had decided that she also was way too hungry to continue their shopping journey with just a slice of cake or two. And so they sat inside a nice little restaurant a few streets away from the mall, a plate of steaming pasta in front of both Alex and Kara, while Lena was picking at something that looked suspiciously like kale. Alex didn’t know how the Luthor managed to keep her calorie intake high enough. Maybe she ate a lot in the mornings before showing up at work, because Alex couldn’t see Lena be having midnight snacks at all.    
  
“So what are you two going to be wearing at the gala?”, she asked after having finished her first two forks full of pasta “Or am I not allowed to know?”, she grinned.   
  
“Of course you can know!”Kara chuckled “Lena has this very pretty black dress, it's slim and has a slit at one side”, the blonde was looking at her girlfriend longingly, sighing happily in thoughts before she noticed what she was doing. Blushing a deep red color, before coughing and continuing “I have a white suit. It’s easier to keep my super suit under. Also Lena said that it’s gonna be looking very pretty when she’s in all black and I’m wearing white...so...yeah”, glancing down at her food Kara continued eating, the blush still evident on her cheeks.   
  
There was this curiosity in the back of her mind that Alex didn’t get to shut off over the course of their dinner, so while they were waiting for the dessert Kara had ordered Alex decided to take her chance and just ask what was nagging her. “Are you going to attend as a couple or as friends? I mean...it’s all still new to you and Kara just came out to me but...I’m sorry if it's intrusive, but I was wondering”, she stumbled over the end, glancing down in embarrassment.   
  
“Oh, it’s fine darling”, Lena quickly interjects, patting her arm reassuringly “We were still discussing that. I would love to attend as a couple honestly, but while Kara is afraid that it could make me a bigger target for harassment, I couldn’t care about the tabloids more. But I’m afraid that Kara could start to be a bigger target for nosy journalists. I might rule over CatCo but I won’t be able to hold all off of her. And the more she’s in the public eye the more risk she bears for letting her secret slip”, Lena sighs.

“Oh”, is all Alex can answer to that for a few seconds “Well...no matter how you decide, I’ll be having your back to support you. And Sam will do so as well”, she smiles, knowing that both Sam and Reign would do anything to shut down those trying to hurt either Lena or Kara. “That makes me wonder, how were the reactions when Sam announced her relationship with Alex?”she asked, tilting her head to one side in a questioning stance.   
  
“The media was busy”, Kara chuckles “She had to take Ruby out of school for two weeks because of all the paparazzi wanting to take a comment of the child whose mother was doing, quote, bad midlife crisis decisions'', Kara mimics in a funny voice. “There was a lot of positivity though, empowerment from seeing a gay couple in such a high position in a huge company. I think Alex even got some coming out stories sent in mail, they’re probably somewhere in the apartment”, Kara nods “It quieted down after a while, partly thanks to the DEO I guess, but nothing has ever happened to figuring out who Alex really works for and what she’s doing and such. So I don’t understand why Lena is so worried”, Kara pouts.   
  
“Nothing has ever happened to Sam either and you are worried about me, Kara”, Lena voices quietly, placing a hand over Kara’s on the table.

Alex takes in the sight in front of her quietly, perching her elbows on the table, arms upward and chin resting on the back of her hands “You two are so cute, it’s nauseating”, she grins “But if it’s safe for you and it seems to be that way, you could do it. Media will probably have another field day, but chances are that Sam and Alex took away the first huge blows that could be thrown your way. If it didn’t do harm then, it won’t do harm now”, she fondly smiles “But it’s up to the both of you. And whatever you’ll do. I’ll be there that evening to save you if you need to be safed.”

  
“We’ll see”, Lena nods, eyes sparkling just a little more than before “But for now, we’re gonna save your outfit”. Waving for a waiter, she hands her card over, insisting to pay for dinner and then stands, guiding Alex and Kara back to the mall.   
  
  


***

“How high can your heels be until you fall?”, Lena had asked when entering the shoe store she vowed for to be the only one they will have to visit.   
  
Alex had spread her fingers apart a few inches, holding them up “I can hold myself pretty steadily” she voiced unsure “I don’t like to wear them very much though..”. She could watch the raven haired woman shaking her head slowly, listening to her say something along the lines of “It’s not about being comfortable, but about looking good”, and so she sat down on a softly cushioned chair and waited for Lena to appear with the shoes she had already set an eye on when they came across the store on their way towards the restaurant.

The shoes were high, probably about three inches in height, but appeared to be kind of steady. They were made out of a solid white lace material, similar to the one on Alex’s dress and were cut like ankle boots with a thin, white heel.    
  
Slipping them on, Alex had to hold herself steady on Kara’s arm for a second until she could try them out walking. “Haven’t been in heels for a while”, she laughed, moving around the store for a bit “But I guess they’re comfortable enough for a night with dancing” 

  
“You can be lucky Sam and you are about the same height, she likes to tower over you a little, so she’s the one having to wear four inches that night”, Kara had casually mentioned on their way to the cashier.

And so the shoe searching was finished with the first pair she tried on. While looking for jackets, Lena had remembered a purse she could lend Alex so that was cut short as well and Alex was already yearning to slump down on her sofa to watch some mindless TV with Azul in her lap. But looking for a jacket took another two and a half hours and when Alex finally was able to slump down on her sofa it was already 9pm.

She was watching a crime show, laughing along on its ridiculousness when her phone started to buzz on the coffee table. For a second she was afraid that Lena was suddenly unhappy about something they had bought today and they would have to go again tomorrow, but she shook that thought away and looked at the messages she had gotten.   
  
**Sam Arias:** **  
** Lena has sent me a picture of you in your dress, it’s looking really pretty, I’m glad you found something. I won’t have time to spend with you until the gala happens, so please arrive at my place at noon on Thanksgiving so we can catch up and get ready together. You’ll also be able to meet Ruby without being in the public then.   
Good night.   
  
Alex smiled at the message, she was a bit sad that she really wouldn’t be able to see Sam for the next week, but at the same time she felt a bit relieved. Especially since Sam seemed to like the dress and have her over before the event. Of course the prior meeting could only be as a measure for Ruby to get to know here, but Alex knew it would also take a lot of nerves off of her chest. And she had the faint hope that Sam knew it.   
  
**Sam 2.0:**

You look truly stunning, Alexandra. It is a beautiful dress looking as it was made for you only. It saddens me that I won’t be able to see you before the next week. I am looking forward to the dance you promised me last night.    
Sweet Dreams   
  
Her heartbeat had picked up while reading Reigns' message. Was it intentional or just pure accident, that everything she said or wrote sounded so incredibly flirty? Why did it even bother her? It was Reign. In Sam’ body. No matter how flirty she was, it shouldn’t affect her at all. The Arias women were off limits.   
  
She threw her head back onto the pillow, groaning. Reign wasn’t from here. Well, more than Alex herself was, but she wasn’t from earth at all. She probably didn’t know how she sounded and Alex probably only responded with fast heartbeats and faint blushes because nobody had flirted with her in too long, nobody had looked forward to seeing her in too long.   
  
Maybe she should give dating a try. Or just go out one night to unwind a bit.   
  
Yes. She should do that before Thanksgiving.

  
  
***

Of course she didn’t go out before Thanksgiving. She spent the days brooding with Lena over their teleporter plans, hoping that they might accidentally make the portal work anyways. Her nights were spent watching TV or talking to Kara and Lena, learning names and faces of gala attendees and people she had to faintly know and remember. To her luck other-Alex didn’t seem to be too talkative on events either, mostly sticking to Sam’s side or being around one of the other superfriends. So they had planned that this gala would be exactly the same. Sam had called in one evening to throw in more information about the people she’s been meeting and nodded to the plan of having Alex with one of them at all times, should it be possible.

On Thanksgiving at 12:30pm she was standing in front of the Arias’ house for the very first time since she arrived on this earth. She had her shoes and some make-up in a bag slung over her shoulder and her dress in one of those fancy black dress bags folded over her arm.   
  
When the door opened in front of her, her heart got stuck in her throat. Big brown eyes sparkling with curiosity and excitement were looking up at Alex. Ruby looked exactly like she had seen her the last time. She was a bit taller, had it been so long since she’d seen the teen in her world. She felt tears starting to form in her eyes and before the first sob could leave her mouth, she was pulled inside the house by a strong hand. Sam, no, Reign looking at her worriedly.   
  
“Alexandra are you unwell? I was hoping you would be as happy to be here as I am happy to see you again.”, she frowned, holding her hands on Alex’s shoulders, watching her face as if she was trying to look inside her head.   
  
“I..I am happy, Reign..I just”, breathing shakily, she shook herself out of Reign’s hold, setting her bag down and hanging her dress bag onto a hanger with her jacket “It’s just a lot to take in. I’ve been here a lot”, she waved her hands around “back in my world. I would laugh with Ruby and spend time with her when Sam was at work. Take care of everything when...when..”, she eyed Reign with a bit of fear in her eyes “When the you was destroying everything we held dear” tears were flowing freely now and she could feel Reign’s arms on her shoulders again. Slowly stroking down her back and pulling her close. She nudged herself a little closer into the embrace, gripping tightly into the back of the jumper the other woman was wearing.   
  
“This is everything I have ever dreamed of and knowing that your Alex had it all the whole time…”, her voice was breaking while she kept sobbing and trying to catch her breath, tightly wrapped into the worldkillers embrace.   
  
“You’re my Alex now”, she heard Reign’s dark voice silently whisper into her ear, feeling her hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. Stunned in shock and disbelief, her tears stopped for a second, her mind not able to wrap around what she just heard, letting her take a deep breath slowly.   
  
She could feel a third hand on her back now, smaller and tentatively placed “You can still laugh with me. And spend time with me if you want” Ruby quietly voiced, joining in into the hug, patting Alex’s back carefully.   
  
This only made Alex cry out more, tears were rocking through her body freely now and she could feel herself slump down if there wasn’t the strong hold of Reign holding her up. They slowly sat down on the ground, Alex weeping in Reign’s arms and Ruby patting her back, eyes full of wonder and mind full of questions.   
  
They stayed on the ground for almost an hour until Alex had calmed herself enough. “I’m so sorry”, she laughed embarrassedly, blushing at Reign and then looking at Ruby. “You were very important to me, back on my earth”, she smiled at the teen “But when I landed here, I had already not seen you in months and I was missing you and your mom very much.”, her eyes were nothing but earnest and Ruby seemed to be glued to her talking “I’m so sorry for the awful first impression”, she laughed again.   
  
“At least you didn’t scream for help as if someone would want to kill you this time”, Reign stated flatly, earning a timid smile from the agent.   
  
Looking back at Ruby again she smiled slightly, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt to wipe again her last tears. “I know we already passed the hugging stage but.. I’m Alex”, she held out her hand for the teenage girl “Nice to meet you”   
  
Ruby took her hand, chuckling quietly “Nice to meet you. I’m Ruby”   
  
And to Alex it felt right when their hands shook, both smiling genuine bright smiles at each other. Both not knowing that it wasn’t Reign looking down at them anymore, blinking away tears of her own, but Sam, holding on to Alex tightly with one arm and onto Ruby with the other, a small smile spreading from her lips into her eyes.   
  


With one fast motion Ruby jumped back to her feet “I’m going to get you some painkillers now, because you’ll be getting a very bad headache soon and you don’t want to have that when we have to go in…”, she looked at the clock, narrowing her eyes a bit “...about five hours. And then you can tell me about your home, yeah?”   
  
Alex eyes followed the young Arias as far as she could, affection evident in her smile 

  
“Sure, kiddo. Let me tell you about home”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support! I'd be grateful if you could leave a few nice words in the comments, as I've been really nervous to post again after the long break.
> 
> I'll hope to be back soon.


End file.
